The Ridiculator
by Kaine073
Summary: E.Gadd creates a strange device that makes things make no sense. Now that chaos has started: Cranky Kong is on the loose, Yoshi,Luigi, and a ghost are tracking down a flying castle, and Peach, Toadsworth, and DK are trying to fix it. GO EMK!
1. Prologue

Prologue: what is the ridiculator

One dark night in mushroom kingdom, there toiled a scientist. Not just any scientist, this one believed in fiction and not fact. His inventions helped saved kingdoms and occasionally made great coffee. However this one night would be one he'd regret, for about 2 days then leave it to someone else.

"Ahahahahaha, I have done it" E.Gadd had on a welders mask while putting the finishing touches on his new invention. "The greatest invention to walk the face of this kingdom."

"Why do you keep talking to yourself?" A boo named Jin appeared.

"All great scientist talk to themselves." E.Gadd replied.

"So what is it?" Jin asked

"Well, I call it the ridiculator" E.Gadd held it like a gun. "Point it at something, shoot, and it makes no sense."

"What?" the concept utterly confused Jin

Rather than try to explain, E.Gadd shot the beam at a conveniently placed refrigerator. At first all seemed normal, but E.Gadd opened the door and old reruns of the Cosby show were playing.

"That makes no… oh" Jin caught on. "So what are you going to use it on"

E.Gadd suddenly got a cynical smile. "Peach's castle."

Author's Note: okay prologue is short, but the chapters will be longer.


	2. The Craziness Begins

Ch 1 The Craziness Begins

"Bwahaha, nothing can stop me this time." Bowser had once again kidnapped Peach "Mario, you've had your last bowl of spaghetti."

"What about lasagna?" Mario asked.

"That too" Bowser replied.

"Pizza?" Mario continued.

"Um, yeah." Bowser answered.

"Rice Fried Shrimp" Mario asked yet another one.

"It's shrimp fried rice, get it right." Bowser replied "And yes"

"Sigh, and this was supposed to be about me" Peach realized this going to end anytime soon, so she went and sat down.

"Psst, princess" Toadsworth appeared in a hole in the wall next to her. "I've come to rescue before you get kidnapped."

"It's not really a rescue then is it." Peach whispered, hoping not to alert Bowser.

"Fine, just come with me" Toadsworth insisted.

"Okay" Peach walked through the spinning wall.

Mario and Bowser continued on until late that afternoon. So long that Mario was beginning to run out of foods to name. Little did they know that E.Gadd was planning on testing the ridiculator on the castle.

"Appleberry cake." Mario started sweating from naming all the food.

"Enough, you've had your last piece of food." Bowser said.

"Last bowl of pasta sounded way cooler." Mario kept stalling even though it was clear that Peach was long gone.

"Whatever." Bowser replied.

**Meanwhile.**

"Ahahaha, I can't wait to see what'll happen." E.Gadd laughed "Especially now since on the "oh my freaking God" setting"

"I hope you don't mind if I brought a few friends." Jin appeared, Yoshi and Luigi followed not too far behind.

"Do you have the dramatic music?" E.Gadd asked.

"Right here" Luigi pressed the play button.

"Then let's do it." E.Gadd laughed maniacally.

A giant beam flew at the castle Mario and Bowser were still in. It seemed to flow slower the closer it got to the castle. Finally it hit, for a minute all was silent. Suddenly all the windows turned into speakers, the body turned into a pink, black, and white tank, the moat turned into rocket launchers, the top turned into a wii-mote, and the four corners turned into the nun chucks. The transformation was done but the process was just beginning. Soon after, the nun chucks began spinning, the rockets launched, the tank top began spinning, the speakers began legend of Zelda music, and as it launched into the air the wii-mote was used as a rutter as it flew off. While this all happened the castle gave a spectacular fireworks show.

"Awesome" Yoshi said

"Not my choice of music." Jin said.

"Wasn't prince in there?" Luigi didn't wait to run after the castle but Yoshi stopped.

"Ahahaha, just as I thought. It shall make a killing on EBAY" E.Gadd walked away.

"Wait, can I have one" Yoshi asked.

"Sure" E.Gadd reached into his pocket and pulled an extra one out.

"Yes" Yoshi grabbed it and tested it on a tree, which exploded leaving hundreds of Reese's peanut butter cups on the ground.

"Now boys I've some money to make, so see you later." E.Gadd headed back to his mansion. Not long after Peach and Toadsworth came back up to the castle expecting Mario to have finished off Bowser.

"I'm telling you princess she looked just like you" Toadsworth had taken Peach shopping and had mistaken a toad for her.

"No way do I look like a toad." Peach replied.

"You might if I shot you with this." Yoshi showed them the ridiculator E.Gadd gave him.

"Princess, no" Toadsworth jumped high in the air in front of Peach only to look like an idiot when he hit the ground.

Yoshi sighed, "I wasn't going to shoot Peach old man, I was just showing you E.Gadd's new invention.

"What's it called?" Peach and Toadsworth seemed to miss the fact that the castle was now gone.

"The Ridiculator" Jin replied

"I'm I the only one who notices that the castle is gone." Luigi pointed at the empty lot.

"Oh my word" Toadsworth said, "We shall have to find the ruffian who did this."

"Are you calling E.Gadd a ruffian?" Jin said

"E.Gadd did this, but why" Peach asked.

"My guess, boredom. There's nothing to do here." Luigi answered.

"Well now there is Master Luigi." Toadsworth said, "we need to split up, some of us go after E.Gadd and the rest go after the castle."

"Well it's my castle." Peach said.

"Which is why you have to stay here," Toadsworth stated.

"WHAT?" Peach yelled. "I at least deserve the right to go after my own castle."

"That's what Mario is for" Toadsworth said, "You're for dealing justice" He then struck a pose to emphasize justice.

"Umm, you're forgetting" Peach replied. "Mario was in there with Bowser."

"You think he was affected?" Luigi asked.

"Yes" Jin replied.

"Well I'm going after him" Luigi started to take off again but Yoshi stopped him.

"Good idea Master Luigi, you, Yoshi, and that ghost should all go after the castle." Toadsworth said.

"Shouldn't be to hard" Yoshi smiled at the thought of an adventure.

"I like the idea." Jin said, "Let's go home and pack."

"Pack what?" Yoshi asked.

"You're right let's go" Jin began to head in the direction of the bat.

"Wait for me." Luigi ran to catch up with them.

"So what are we going to do" Peach asked.

"Catch the young ruffian responsible for this mess." Toadsworth sounded surprisingly dark.

"Actually, he's older than you" Peach said.

"Well then, let us teach an old man a lesson." Toadsworth said.


	3. Inside the Castle

Ch 2 inside the castle

Well, Peach's castle is more or less a monstrous flying beast from the depths of some very very bad place. But weren't Mario and Bowser arguing when E.Gadd shot. Were they affected, only one way to find out.

"Spaghetti" Mario argued.

"Lasagna" Bowser argued back. Mario was still stalling and neither had realized the castles sudden transformation.

"Spaghetti is the best Italian food." Mario replied.

"Lasagna is like ten time better" Bowser waved his hands in the air.

"You've never had my spaghetti." Mario said.

"Would the two masters like spaghetti and lasagna?" A blob appeared out of nowhere.

"What the, who are you" Bowser asked.

"Hey look the grounds all tie-dye" Mario said.

"Have the master not yet noticed the changes in the castle?" the blob said.

"Now that you mention this place does look different" Bowser looked around noticing the room they were in was completely tie-dye.

"And for some reason the name Ganondorf would really tick me off." Mario clenched his fist.

"Yes, the castle has changed. And you two are the rulers." the blob said.

"YES, FINALLY" Bowser yelled. "I RULE"

"Yeah, a tie-dye castle." Mario retorted.

"Well I'd like to see you rule something." Bowser said.

"I don't want to rule anything, but this castle is pretty sweet" Mario looked around. "I wonder what the rest of it looks like." He headed towards the door.

"Wait for me" Bowser walked after him.

"Why" Mario asked.

"Because, in a big castle like this we should stick together." Bowser replied.

"You're just scared" Mario began to open the door.

"Yeah, so" Bowser said.

"Fine" Mario walked through the door.

Beyond the door was what seemed to be a whole other world. The castle now had a green shag carpet and the walls were painted white. Each door they walked out of had a different letter or number on it. And a toad walked right up to them.

"Hello masters, my name is TG" The toad began to walk off. "Please come with me"

"What happened to the blob guy?" Bowser asked.

"Who cares" Mario said.

TG led them all the way to what used to be the middle of the castle. Finally he stopped and said, "This the main atrium, if I can asked the two masters to put the new name of the castle here." TG revealed a keyboard.

"Oh, oh how about Bowser's Castle" Bowser jumped up and down, shaking the ceiling.

"That's stupid, I never favored naming a castle after myself." Mario put his fingers on the keyboard.

"Hey why do you get to type it" Bowser pushed Mario out of the way.

"Because your fingers are too big." Mario noticed Bowser typing very badly.

"Umm, yeah." Bowser backed up. "I guess your right."

"If can put my thoughts in, since this castle changed, I've always favored wii-mote castle." TG said.

"It's cool, I like it." Mario began typing the words in.

"That's a nice ring." Bowser commented.

"I thought the masters would like it." TG smiled "Now if you allow me to show you the rest of the castle."

"Hold on, I've traveled the world time and time again" Mario walked off. "I'm pretty sure I can figure out one little castle." I proceeded to open a door and saw a koopa screwing a chain chop to a windmill and turning the windmill on. The windmill began spinning dangerously fast and the chain chop was screaming so hard the windmill began to fall apart.

Right after the windmill was completely destroyed the koopa turned around and said "This concludes our program please tune in next time when we show you how to stop you teenage girl from going a date using nothing but a goomba and a paper air plane. Needless to say Mario shut the door.

"Okay, I may need a little help" Mario said.

"I thought so," TG said. "But understand once this tour is finished you two will be partners."

"Me and him, p-partners" Bowser laughed "Bwahaha, no seriously, that's a good joke."

"It's no joke." A koopa rode up on a strange combination of a scooter, bike, and the end part a shoestring. "You two must become partners if you are to fulfill the prophecy.

"WHY IS THERE A PROPHECY, ONLY BUT A FEW HOURS AGO THE CASTLE WAS NORMAL?" Mario yelled.

"Why are you yelling?" Bowser asked.

"Because I bet there's some villain hidden inside this castle that's trying to destroy the world and it's up to us to stop him." Mario said.

"A villain, oh, you mean bob. Yeah, he's locked in the dungeon." TG pointed at a door "We're torturing him by making him watch old reruns of the teletubies."

"Ouch even Bowser doesn't deserve that," Mario said. "So what is this prophecy then?"

"Well, it's not really a prophecy so much as a prediction. You two will rule the world." The koopa said

"Really, this just gets more and more awesome." Bowser began dancing.

"Hold on, how exactly do we rule the world. It's not like they'll just hand it over" Mario said.

"That's what the tours for." The koopa gave somewhat of a cynical smile. "Come on let's go."

And so the tour began. There were more rooms than ever before and each one had a specific function. There was even a room made completely of waffles. Every room was very simple to get to, cause all they had to do was say its name. Mario and Bowser were getting pretty excited but still laughed at the concept of them working together to rule the world.

"And if you look on your left you'll see something else random." TG said. "And that concludes our tour, thank you for flying TG airlines."

"Umm, we were riding something not flying" Bowser stated.

"Soon to be airlines." TG replied.

"Whatever, hey what about his room ahead of us" Mario asked.

"That's the prophecy room." The blob was back.

"What's your name anyway?" Bowser said

"You may call me Butler 1" butler 1 said.

"Sure." Mario rolled his eyes.

"So, what's this prophecy thing about?" Bowser kept asking questions.

"That is what you're about to find out." Butler 1 replied.

**Meanwhile…**

"Where the heck should we start?" Luigi, Jin, and Yoshi were standing in the empty lot that was once Peach's castle.

"How about we follow the way the castle went." Jin replied

"Yes, cause the giant flying castle is always easy to catch" Luigi said.

"Not when you're a ghost" Jin smiled.

"Well, that's the best we can do for now" Yoshi said. "Besides the destruction of trees should lead us straight to them. We'll be finished with this in no time."


	4. The Weirdness Spreads

Ch 3 The Weirdness Spreads

"Hello" Toadsworth tapped on E.Gadd's door with his cane. "Is anyone home, we know you're here."

"Toadsworth, this guy just did the equivalent of destroying a castle." Peach pushed his cane down. "He's not going to answer us, I doubt if he'll even answer the door."

"Perhaps we'll need some extra muscle than." Toadsworth pulled out his cell phone "Hello? Yes, A.S.A.P" He closed the cell phone.

"Who did you call?" Peach asked.

"Just a little extra strength" Toadsworth answered.

They sat outside the door for a minute. Eventually DK came flying through the air and landed on the ground causing the concrete to crumble. He turned straight to Toadsworth.

"You called boss?" DK looked him straight in the eye.

"Boss?" Peach was confused.

"Yes, could you umm break down this door for me." Toadsworth ignored Peach.

"Sure" without even cocking back or winding up DK punched through the door, like it was made of flour.

"I could've done that with your cane" Peach looked at the door.

"How would that have look, I can see all over the Internet. The youtube videos would haunt my mind for ages." Toadsworth grabbed his head.

"But doesn't having someone else do it for use look even worse?" Peach argued.

"At the current rate that our capitalist society is declining, they'll only see a door being blasted through. The public will think it's some military accident." DK replied smiling.

"Exactly" Toadsworth agreed.

"Whatever," Peach rolled her eyes "like we even have an army." She murmured.

"What happened to my door?!" E.Gadd yelled.

"Well we didn't think you would answer." Peach said.

"I live in a mansion, and I'm an old man. I can't make it to the door in seconds." E.Gadd picked up the pieces of his door.

"For an old man you act like a young ruffian!" Toadsworth yelled.

"At least I don't have high blood pressure for being over-protective!" E.Gadd yelled back.

"It runs in the family, you angry scientist!" Toadsworth's head began to turn red.

"I'm a mad scientist son, and a least I'm not balding." E.Gadd pulled off the toad's spot.

"Well, my teeth are straight." Toadsworth pointed at E.Gadd's teeth.

"OH, THAT'S IT OLD MAN. YOU AND ME, RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW!" E.Gadd held up his fist.

"This is just sad" Peach sighed.

"At least nothing weird has happened yet." DK sighed.

"SUPER TOAD POWERS ACTIVATE!" Toadsworth stuck his hand in the air and instantly grew giant and started flying.

"SO THAT'S HOW WERE GOING TO PLAY IT, HUH!" E.Gadd tapped his shoes together and began to fly using rockets.

"Jynx" Peach glanced at DK.

"Not my fault" DK said. "Seems like the craziness is spreading."

"Yeah I'd expect this from E.Gadd" Peach watched as Toadsworth swatted at E.Gadd like a fly. "But Toadsworth?"

"I already see chaos now" DK noticed E.Gadd shooting machine gun bullets at Toadsworth. "How'd this all start over the door anyway"

"Beat's the crap out of me." Peach walked inside despite the battle.

**Meanwhile…**

Yoshi, Luigi, and Jin had been tracking the castle for only a few miles. Mario and Bowser had no idea what was going on outside the castle. It wasn't long before they reached the first town. Little did they know what they were about to encounter.

"Yoshi is this your home?" Luigi noticed several Yoshies running around.

"Yeah, pretty cool huh" Yoshi replied.

"Why are they running?" Jin asked.

"Maybe because you're a ghost." Bowser's voice echoed out of nowhere.

"That's not my problem," Jin yelled. "Now show yourself."

"You think spotting something like this would be easy." Yoshi pulled out his ridiculator.

"What are you doing" Luigi grabbed the ridiculator. "We have to blow that thing up… With a rocket launcher of sorts."

"Shooting that castle again with the ridiculator could reverse the whole process. Besides where are we going to find a rocket launcher." Yoshi was looking for the castle, but the crowd of Yoshies started to turn into a stampede.

"Run for your lives!" A yoshi yelled.

"I see it." Jin hadn't noticed all them becoming separated.

"Bwahaha, this is like taking candy from a baby" Bowser was standing on top of the wii-mote along with Mario. "Why didn't I ever think about starting small and working my way up."

"Because you're an idiot." Mario was laying down behind Bowser.

"Watch it now, we have to be partners remember." Bowser still tried to hold back laughing.

Mario didn't even try to hold back "Yeah, when pigs fly."

"This is mushroom kingdom, remember." Bowser glanced at Mario.

Mario sighed. "Fine, how about when two more plumber come down here to kick your butt."

"That works" Bowser smiled. "Well, looks like the stampede is done. What now" Bowser watched the last Yoshi run into the forest.

"I wonder why they started running." Mario finally stood up. "It's not like we did anything."

"I don't care, because SOMEONE FINALLY FEARS ME!" Bowser yelled striking a pose.

"This is all new to you isn't it" Mario patted Bowser on the back.

"You just love taking me out of my happy place don't you." Bowser replied.

Mario and Bowser began to argue again, but down below everyone was looking for each other. Jin, Luigi, and Yoshi hadn't been separated that badly but it was bad enough.

"Just great, how'd I get stuck in some house" Yoshi talked to himself. "It shouldn't be too hard to find them, but I should concentrate on the castle for now."

Yoshi walked outside only to find out Jin and Luigi had already reunited. The castle was gone and all was normal, except for the fact that a few houses were now singing umbrella. They weren't singing too well either.

"The separation seemed pointless." Yoshi stated, walking up to them.

"What happened to the castle?" Yoshi asked

"I don't know it just disappeared, like a ghost." Luigi pointed at where it used to be.

"Thanks for saving me from saying that" Jin sighed.

"Well, we still have to follow it" Yoshi looked around for any signs.

"Well, how hard can tracking an invisible castle that causes chaos be?" Luigi said.

Right at the second several trees started to fall down at the south end of the village. A dead give away, it wasn't long before they were following.


	5. Random Storyline

Ch 4 WTC, random storyline

"So this is what E.Gadd's house looked like." Peach messed around with one of the various gadgets.

"Do you think there's anything in here that could fix this mess?" DK asked.

"How do you know all that's happened?" Peach replied.

"Who says a monkey can't keep with the times" Donkey Kong headed towards the kitchen.

"But this hasn't even made it on the Internet, let alone the streets" Peach said, but DK just ignored her.

Having completely forgotten about the weird battle going on outside the house. Peach and DK searched around the house looking for E.Gadd's lab. However it was completely in vain. It wasn't until hours later, after they took advantage of E.Gadd's smoothie maker and giant screen TV, that something interesting happened.

"My-my you are quite the fighter." Toadsworth had gone back to normal size and was breathing heavily.

"You are to," E.Gadd also breathed heavily also, "but where did your powers come from?"

"I don't know, as if some voice inside me told me to yell those words." Toadsworth narrowed his eyes. "I'd never felt it until you start the castle."

"Are you blaming this on me!" E.Gadd's voice grew louder.

"Now, old chap let's not start that again. After all we are some of the few old people in this world." Toadsworth stopped breathing hard.

"So, what exactly are you saying?" E.Gadd asked.

"That maybe you shooting the castle had something to do with that" Toadsworth looked in the direction that the castle used to reside.

"You are blaming this on me!" E.Gadd fired up his rocket boots.

Toadsworth sighed. "Can we make it back inside before we start this?"

"Okay" E.Gadd turned off his rockets. "Where are we anyway?" He just noticed both of them standing on top of a platform made of trees.

"Good lord the weirdness can't be spreading that fast can it." Toadsworth replied.

While E.Gadd and Toadsworth made their way back to the mansion. DK had started watching a boxing match, much to Peach's dismay, on E.Gadd's giant screen TV. Peach began to search for some secret switch to E.Gadd's lab but still had no luck. 

"Bob and weave, bob and weave, oh left left" DK was intensely watching the boxing match on TV.

"I don't see what's so interesting, just two men beating each other up" Peach twisted her head to try and see if she was missing something.

"Oh princess" Toadsworth limped in. "E.Gadd and Me finished our" he was distracted by the TV. "Well done biscuits, is that Mike Tyson versus Muhammad Ali. E.Gadd, I didn't know they had had pay-per-view reruns."

"Did someone say biscuits?" The thought of food completely distracted DK from the match.

"Who said you could use my TV, I have to pay for that!" E.Gadd yelled.

"No you don't, you built everything in this place." DK argued.

"That's not the point" E.Gadd grabbed the remote and turned off the TV.

"What is the point?" Peach asked.

"Umm, the point is…" E.Gadd paused. "I still have to pay for cable."

"Well we're just making sure you're getting you moneys worth" DK canceled out E.Gadd's argument.

"So how'd your match go?" Peach asked but Toadsworth was drooling in front of the boxing match that was no longer playing.

"I don't know how you two managed to get more interested in a boxing match rather than the super fight we were just having." E.Gadd shook his head. "Anyway, off to the lab" E.Gadd struck a pose while sticking his hand in the air.

E.Gadd walked into the kitchen, he headed straight to the stove. He turned the temperature from 0 to 350 to 275 to 400 then finally to broil. The stove retracted into the wall and an elevator came up.

"That's how you get into the lab!" DK exclaimed, "That's stupid."

"I thought it was quite ingenious." Toadsworth tapped DK with his cane "you couldn't figure it out could you?"

E.Gadd led them way down underground. The trip took long enough for DK to develop a case of claustrophobia and throw up in the corner. When they finally saw the lab, it looked amazing. The walls were pure crystals and it was surprisingly comfortable and in the middle stood a crystal wall with the ridiculator in it.

"So that's the device that transformed the beautiful castle into a flying beast of death on a pancake of destruction with a side doom." Toadsworth stared at it menacingly as if to scare it, but failed to notice everyone staring at him.

"Don't forget it also took Mario and Bowser" Everyone looked DK now. "I told you I like to keep current." He held up a newspaper of the destruction caused at Yoshi village.

"Ahem, anyway onto business. As you may have figured out this is the ridiculator, it makes things make no sense." E.Gadd explained "You see, I had built these crystal walls around it to keep the weirdness from escaping." Toadsworth cut off E.Gadd.

"Well, they aren't doing a very good job" Toadsworth said.

"I was going to say that" E.Gadd polished his glasses. "Anyway it's escaping could change the face of the world"

"No really" Peach said sarcastically.

"So why did you sell them on Ebay like hotcakes?" DK asked pulling out his own.

"Because the energy dissipates after so long," E.Gadd replied. ", And the effect dies out."

"Shoot, I thought Cranky Kong stole that giant banana from me." DK kicked the floor. "And to think I had him thrown in high security prison for that.

**Meanwhile… queue mission impossible music.**

Cranky Kong just finished carving a key out of soap to his cell. He jumped out and ran across the hall leaving a fake doll in the bed. The first two guards he saw were shot with a tranquilizer dart made from an accumulation of Monday's mystery meat. He dragged one of them down the hall and took his clothes. He made his way out to the courtyard, he sighed at his luck cause at this point the courtyard was filled the most homosexuals at this time. He whispered something about Randy breaking up with Mack to Roy and a huge food fight started. When the officers came to settle it, he very slyly grabbed the keys off of one of the commanding officers and ran towards the stairs. When he finally made out at the top of the prison, he dived into the ocean. Using his tail like a like a speed boat engine he sped along just under the surface of the water. Eventaully he made it to the beach and started jumping up and down and laughing like a crazy monkey. He then ran and kicked Dixie Kong off her tricycle and rode off to find DK, at speeds unheard of to tricycles everywhere.

**Back at E.Gadd's Mansion… Mission Impossible music fades out.**

"So as you can see the mandible discharge of the quadratic function unit has over undulated causing a negate-charge which has over fluctuated the balance of the ridiculous triangle." E.Gadd spurted out words that no one could understand.

"Scientist say what?" DK scratched his head.

"I don't even think those words form together to make a proper sentence." Peach squinted hoping to see rather than hear E.Gadd's words.

Toadsworth had no words but just drooled as his brain was overloaded by the series of big word. When he finally came too he yelled something completely wrong. "GREAT SAUSAGE LINKS OF BOWSER'S CASTLE, MAN THAT IS COMPLICATED." He suddenly yelled waving his hands in the air.

E.Gadd sighed. "Basically put I know how to fix it but it's not going to be easy."

**Author's Note: Sorry about the delay in posting the next chapter. Hope it won't happen again, anyway what the heck is up with Cranky Kong, and What exactly is wrong with the ridiculator, and does Toadsworth have an obsession with breakfast food. Only one way to find out, Please R&R**


	6. Diddy Kong's Conundrum

Ch 5 Diddy Kong's conundrum

"Day 9" Yoshi monologue "Me and my team are very hungry, Jin can't seems to keep clear, Luigi is mumbling stuff about eating me in his sleep. I am tempted to eat this tree that is right in front of me, in fact" He began to lunge at the tree but Luigi stopped him.

"You know, you're not the only one hungry but at least I don't monologue in front of people." Luigi struggled to keep Yoshi away from the tree.

"Are you sure we're going towards the castle." Jin asked.

"Yeah, but we're getting close to Kongo Jungle." Luigi looked at some kind of locator device

"Yeah, I haven't seen DK in a while" Yoshi smiled finally forgetting about the tree.

"I'm just wondering why the castle would come here." Luigi removed his hat and scratched his head. "It doesn't seem to have any destination point."

"Would you have a destination if you looked like that" Jin said.

"Well, I'd be trying to escape from the earth in that case" Yoshi replied.

"Aaaahhhh, someone help" Diddy came running through the trees.

"What is it?" Luigi caught him by the tail

"Giant flying something of death," He breathed heavily "I don't know, I ran as soon as I saw it."

"Why does everyone run from this thing?" Jin yelled, "Yet they don't even jump at the sight of a ghost!"

"Who cares, we have to find that castle and fix this thing" Yoshi pulled out his ridiculator.

**Meanwhile…**

"How many cities are we going to go to before we do something important or big." Mario paced the floor.

"This is only the second one" Bowser played with a rubix cube.

"That's my point, I have a short attention span, and in fact I'm already tired of this conversation." Mario kept pacing.

"If that's true, than how did you save Peach all the" Bowser was cut off by Mario.

"I'm hungry" Mario headed towards the kitchen.

"Weird" Bowser tossed the rubix cube across the room.

"Is the master tired." TG appeared.

"Well, as much as I hate to admit it, Mario's right." Bowser sighed. "What is our actual goal, rather than just floating around this castle?"

"I told you, you and Mario are trying to rule the world." TG said.

"But what's are strategy" Bowser clenched his fist. "You say me and Mario have to work together, yet we've been arguing ever since we've been on this thing. If we're ever going to work together we need a common goal"

"Well, you're the evil villain, you make the plan." TG said

"My plans always fail." Bowser rubbed his eyes.

"That's because of Mario." TG got an evil smile.

"What are you saying?" Bowser sat up on the couch.

"Well, think about it, Mario is always the one to thwart your plan. Now that he's one your side nothing can stop you." TG answered

"But what makes you think Mario won't stop me again? He a good guy remember" Bowser began to pace the room much like Mario before.

While Bowser began hatching an evil plan, Mario was in the kitchen teaching the random creatures around the house how to make a decent bowl of pasta. Turns out none of them knew how to cook, but Mario was slowly turning them into experts.

"No, you never use canned spaghetti sauce, and you always line up the lasagna by hand." Mario's hat had been replaced by a chef's hat with an M on it, and his apron said in big letters KISS MY FIREBALL, it had an angry 8-bit Mario underneath the words.

"If I may correct you, I studied in Italy" The koopa from before was cut off by Mario.

"I don't care if you studied in France, I'm the only one who knows how to make a decent bowl of pasta." Mario waved his hands in the air.

"What does France have to do with" The koopa stopped himself this time realizing not to contradict Mario when in came to Italian dishes.

"Exactly" Mario folded his arms and walked out the door. He wiped his head and sighed.

"Is the master stressed out?" Butler 32 appeared.

"You know, teaching a whole bunch of toads to dice a mushroom is harder than it sounds." Mario took a seat.

"If I recall correctly, the master earlier said something about being tired of this place." Butler 32 asked, "Why is that?"

"Oh, that, I just said that so Bowser would leave me alone." Mario started back towards the kitchen. "The whole short attention span thing was just a trick."

"But you know that you both have to work together." Butler 32 replied.

"What kind of butler are you anyway?" Mario asked

"I majored in psychology at Harvard and Yale." Butler 32 took a seat next to Mario.

"Geese everyone here has I degree from some fancy college." Mario said. "What about plumbers like me who went to trade school?"

"I don't know, all of us thought monkeys went to trade school" Butler 32 didn't realize the consequences of what he just said.

**But speaking of monkeys… queue mission impossible music**

Cranky Kong was on a high-speed chase riding Dixie Kong's tricycle. The RPD (rare police department) and the MKPD (mushroom kingdom police department) had been following him for miles now, and the highway form Kongo Jungle to Mushroom kingdom is a long one. Cranky Kong managed to grab a shotgun and took down three helicopters and a motorcycle… on a pink tricycle. The chase continued at speeds of over 100 mph. Until Cranky got a flat, when this happened he jumped up towards a helicopter and kicked all the policemen out. He took down another 5 helicopter and 7 cars and finished off by jumping out of the helicopter just before it crashed into a tank that was just brought into the chase. He landed in a perfect pose, cracked his knuckles, and looked down the long road and sighed.

**Back in Kongo Jungle… mission impossible music fades out**

"So what makes you think the castle wants to take over the world?" Luigi, Yoshi, Jin, and Diddy Kong were in DK's house.

"Well, think about it, if this "ridiculator" does what you say it does, it only makes sense that it would turn the castle evil." Diddy explained.

"But it makes things make no sense" Jin replied. "And that makes sense."

"Yes, but it makes no sense that Mario would want to take over the world." Diddy argued.

"But its makes sense that Bowser would." Luigi contradicted.

"But Mario normally beats Bowser." Yoshi double contradicted.

"But if things make no sense then Bowser would win." Diddy triple contradicted.

"But why would they be fighting in the first place. If things make no sense then wouldn't they just work together, that's the only thing that makes sense" Jin grabbed a banana off the table.

"But if it makes sense than it's wrong, but that makes no sense, Mario and Bowser never will work together" Diddy said.

"Let's just save the conundrum for the computer." Yoshi stopped the contradicting. "The bottom line is we need to save Mario and well… we need to save Mario."

"So how do we catch a giant flying castle with a wii-mote on top?" Luigi asked

Diddy Kong rubbed his chin. "I got an idea" He ran out the door.


	7. Awkward

Ch 6 Awk…ward

"We're supposed to do what" Peach was shocked at the news.

"Well, you know what my job is done, I'm out then" DK headed for the elevator.

"Not if you want another pay check" Toadsworth pointed his cane at DK.

DK sighed "Freaking banana tax," he mumbled. "Are you sure there's no other way."

"Who's the genius here?" E.Gadd explained. "You heard, "we have to collect the 5 awkward stars."

"But everyone one knows something really really awkward happens to the people who have them" Peach said.

"Yeah I heard that one guy blurted out that he stalked his girlfriend and her two sisters for 2 years before he asked her out and that was when he was on one knee about to propose.Too add on the girlfriendcouldn't bring herself to leave, and the band he hired to play the wedding started playing it anyway." DK shook his head at how messed up that had to be.

"That is exactly why we have to try extra hard to not be embarrassed by the awkward stars." Toadsworth's mustache ruffled as he said this implying that he was really nervous.

"And I heard that people don't just gives these away" E.Gadd locked the ridiculator back up. "The five people who have them are called the awkward guardians. They are five people so screwed up that they can't even close their eyes the right way sometimes."

"So why do we need the awkward stars anyway?" DK queried.

"Because awkwardness cancels out weirdness." E.Gadd explained, "Awkwardness always has a reason behind it, weird events are rarely explained, if ever. With all five awkward stars we could completely cancel out the weirdness and get things back to normal."

"But we know the weirdness that's happening now is being caused by the ridiculator." Peach said.

"Yes, but how did Toadsworth suddenly grow giant, there is no scientific expanation." E.Gadd explained. "And the guy in DK's story has turrets and claimed he was told by a boo to say that. That's what i meant on a deeper level.

"That's raises the question." Toadsworth murmured, "If there are five awkward stars are there five weird stars?"

"Yes, but I'd really rather not go into detail about that." E.Gadd headed for the door. "Now let's go collect our first star."

"Great chocolate cereal with burnt pop tarts, already, we haven't even planned yet." Toadsworth yelled.

"Who needs a plan when you're a genius" E.Gadd pointed at his brain. "Now let's go."

"If my pants fall down I'm suing" DK was the last one in the elevator.

"But you're a monkey you don't wear pants" Toadsworth said.

**Speaking of monkeys once again… queue mission impossible music**

Cranky was in a diner and still pretty far away from mushroom kingdom. Cranky had decided to get a meal while it was raining. He was just finishing off a steak and some eggs when a muscular koopa walked up to him and said, "That's my spot". Cranky Kong didn't bother to reply, the koopa began to make a huge fuss. Cranky still didn't reply. Eventually the manager came out and told Cranky that the koopa actually had his name on the seat and had paid to sit there everyday. Cranky continued to eat his eggs. This time the koopa picked up Cranky and threw him out the window. Then he and the manager both came out side carrying a nun chucks. Cranky held up his knife with intent to threaten, but they both laughed. Realizing he was carrying a butter knife, Cranky threw aside and unsheathed his walking can to reveal a sword. The koopa and manager proceeded at Cranky thinking an old man can't do that much damaged. Before they knew it Cranky had slashed threw them leaving them alive but in much pain, and a CK on their foreheads that was eventually to become a scar. Cranky Kong sheathed his sword and attached the cane to his side. He was going to pay the bill when he heard police sirens, so he quickly picked up one of the nun chucks and began spinning it rapidly. Eventually he lifted of the ground and flew away into the distance.

**Back in Mushroom Kingdom… Mission Impossible music fades out.**

"E.Gadd you sound like some type of stalker." DK and everyone else were looking at E.Gadd's lab top.

"Well, I get bored" E.Gadd replied.

"So you compiled a list of everyone and everything in mushroom kingdom and had it keep tabs on where they were and what they were doing" Toadsworth said. "Great sausage man, that's the governments job."

"Consider me helping the government then." E.Gadd had searched for the five awkward guardians "Okay, good, all the awkward guardian are within in five miles of this town."

"That is so wrong, since when is something like this so easy?" DK questioned.

"But to dilute the awkwardness we should travel together." E.Gadd suggested. "Hopefully that'll keep us all from getting one intense blast of awkwardness."

**Downtown Castle Town…**

"So this is where all the real shops are." DK had never been here before.

"Yes my lad, this is where you find everything you need for real life, the plaza is sort of a front." Toadsworth seemed a little nervous.

"This is where the old castle is isn't it." Peach asked.

"According to my records yes, and that's where the first awkward is" E.Gadd pointed ahead. "Onward."

They made their way threw downtown refusing all the free samples they could. Though one lady managed to scold DK for wearing just a tie and gave him a pair of pants to wear with DK sown on the kneecaps. Later on DK found himself wearing a pair of sunglasses, a hat, and a coat with face on the back.

"You think people would be less nice in downtown." DK hung his shirt on the gate to the castle.

"You should be less accepting." Toadsworth said

"Why? The best things in life are free." DK replied.

"So who lives in this castle now?" Peach asked.

"The computer says awkward guardian Shell." E.Gadd opened the gate and headed towards the castle.

"Why doesn't Peach's castle have a gate" DK touched the bars.

"It wasn't in the budget," Peach replied to quickly.

"Oh, but super expensive paintings, and shoes were" Toadsworth murmured.

"Hurry up we need to get these stars" E.Gadd waved them on.


	8. The Ridiculator Vs The EMK

Ch 7 The Ridiculator vs. the EMK

"Umm Diddy what are we doing on this thing." Yoshi found himself on top of a giant armored van.

"If we're going to stop that thing we need speed." Diddy started the engine.

"Hold on, we don't even know where the castle is." Jin was trying to figure out how to put his seat belt on.

"Actually I put a tracker on it while I was running away" Diddy smiled.

"Why?" Luigi queried.

"Well, I was planning on avoiding it, and to know your enemy is the best way around your enemy." Diddy answered.

"But it's not your enemy" Luigi replied, "The castle is our enemy."

"Same difference, anyway that castle is my enemy now" Diddy revved the engine. "Here we go" He rocketed off.

The swath of destruction the van caused was worst than the destruction from the castle. Within minutes they had the EMK (Environmentalists of Mushroom Kingdom) on their tail. The EMK doesn't play around; they travel on hover cars outfitted with missiles designed to destroy enemies by rapidly gathering pollution and cleaning it so fast that the heat produced destroys the target. Even more dangerous were the EMK's foot soldiers, they traveled of hyper speed cleaning shoes, and their weapons wear a highly acidic cleaning solution made from what some consider a deadly combination of lemons and oranges. This was going to be a battle to remember.

"Activating ground to air missiles!" Luigi pressed a series of buttons too complicated to explain.

"No good!" Jin looked out the rear.

"Can't you scare them away?" Diddy Kong asked.

"No, these guys fight the system." Jin frowned. "There's nothing scarier than the system."

"What are they doing in Kongo Jungle anyway it's not part of mushroom kingdom!" Luigi yelled

"Beats the crap out of me!" Jin replied

"Foot soldier on the left!" Yoshi yelled from above. It didn't take long for Luigi to attack the soldier, but Yoshi had enough. "That's it, I'm bringing out the heavy weaponry." He pulled out the ridiculator and set it to WTC.

Yoshi aimed at the foot soldier that had been behind them for a while. He didn't miss his first shot; the soldier's shoes began spewing banana peels and crayons had replaced his ammo. Yoshi continued to take down soldiers for a while until something happened.

"Serves you right, bi-" Yoshi was cut off by a sudden stop.

"wh-wh-what is that" Luigi stuttered in front of a Giant gate.

A toad carrying a pipe in his mouth, and wearing a black jacket with EMK stamped all over it walked in front of the wall. "Who are you?" Diddy yelled

"I am General Vier" the toad had a commando voice. "What I want to know is why you are destroying this beautiful forest." His voice went straight through the windshield.

"Whatever, I live here, it's not that great." DK rolled his eyes.

"Everybody lives here son!" Gen Vier shouted "and nothing gives you the right to take it away!"

"Okay this is going to get old fast." Luigi jump out the van and grabbed a stick. "Yoshi shoot this stick."

"Just what are you planning on doing" Gen Vier watched the stick turn into a chain of paper clips.

"You'll see." Luigi began spinning the chain.

Moments later in spectacular show of cleaning skill, Luigi had chained Gen. Vier to a tree. Diddy Kong nearly fell over laughing but then he started up the engine and began to take off. It wasn't long before something happened.

"This isn't over" Gen. Vier struggled and pulled radio. "Open gate five," yelled.

Before they made it too far, the gate opened unleashing five tanks. They were a new of weapon for the EMK. The Machine guns on the sides shot special beams that did no damage to the environment but could easily destroy a target. The cannon shot heat-seeking trees that planted themselves in the ground after hitting the target. The tanks themselves were made of refined car parts and ran on recycled peanut oil. Gen. Vier's favorite part was the tanks ability to emit fumes that would repair the hole in the ozone lair.

"I've heard of tree huggers but what the heck are these guys!" Yoshi tried to aim but the tanks were moving too swiftly between trees.

"Yoshi, can you hit then!" Jin yelled.

"I'm trying but they're somehow managing to dodge between trees." Yoshi replied. "Seriously, what level of environmentalist are these guys."

"Here" Diddy tossed up a triangular prism. "Use this."

"What?" Yoshi tried to figure what the beams were for.

"Shoot the beam threw it!" Diddy yelled

Yoshi shot the beam through the prism. It began to split into the colors of the rainbow and scattered everywhere. It was so aimless that it was impossible to doge. Each tank was hit causing random things to.

"CFCs!" One driver yelled. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" He lost control and fell into the near by lake.

"What the heck are CFCs" Yoshi asked watching one of spread wings and fly into the air.

"They're emitted by refrigerators and they're bad for the environment," Luigi said watched one tank explode into several pieces of cereal.

"Okay good that's over." Diddy noticed Gen. Vier in the rearview mirror. "See you later… freak."

"This isn't over you monkeys!" Gen. Vier shouted

**Speaking of Monkey… Queue mission impossible music.**

After eluding the police squads for the second time, Cranky had managed to find himself wearing a master chief suit in the middle of a mall. Once Cranky thought the police were gone, he tossed the suit into the trash, Moments later that trash would be on auction for hundreds of thousands of dollars. Anyway, Cranky only thought he was safe, there were security cameras all over the place looking for him. It wasn't long before the mall cops were on him. When he realized this he began flipping through the mall stabbing all the security cameras he could. Eventually he made into the perfume section of a Sears, Even more deadly than the mall cops. Dodging all the free samples he kept running until he made it into the bathroom. He hid in the stall until things calmed down, but he felt leaving his mark. He unsheathed the sword from his cane and carved a star with the initials CK in the middle. Suddenly everything started rumbling, and an upside down star appeared. A voice rumbled throughout the mall saying, "you are the one." Needless to say everyone freaked wondering if it was them or if Mario was somewhere in the mall. Cranky reached out and grabbed the star suddenly he felt power, but the moment was ruined but a helicopter pulling off the roof.

**Meanwhile… Mission impossible music fades out**

"Okay this is a classic trust exercise," Butler 21 was trying to get Mario and Bowser to trust each other. "Now remember trust is the first step to a partnership."

"Really, cause I trust for one minute the he'll catch me." Mario was about to fall back on Bowser.

"You got that right." Bowser stood with his arms folded.

"Well, if you want to rule the world you have to trust each other." Butler 22 was helping.

"I thought partnerships started with a bond." Bowser said.

"Well, the only thing I want to bond is my fist with your face." Mario said.

"Calm down now, let's try to figure out why you hate each other so much." Butler 21 one stopped the oncoming battle.

"Have you two ever, fought in any sort of way before." Butler 22 asked.

"If you only knew." Mario and Bowser said together.

"So you two have had a history of violence." Butler 22 noted.

"More like a lifetime." Bowser added.

"Well why do you two fight so much." Butler 21 added.

"Because he kidnaps the princess and tries to rule mushroom kingdom." Mario went into fighting stance.

"Because he always tries to stop." Bowser glared at Mario.

"But now you two will rule together, there will be no princess and Mario you'll be as high as Bowser." Butler 21 said.

"Really that changes things." Mario rubbed his chin, "I never thought of that."

**Author's Note: Okay, so the chapter end a little abrupt, but oh well. Anyway, time for a barrage of questions. What's up with the EMK? Why did Cranky get a star? Why is Diddy driving underage? Will Mario and Bowser ever work together? Only I know, please R&R.**


	9. Awkwaluigard

Ch 8 Awkwaluigard

"Hmm, there's seems to be no one home" Peach knocked lightly on the door.

"Well then, DK would you do the" Toadsworth was cut off by E.Gadd

"No, I'm not letting you break down another innocent door." E.Gadd put his arm in front of DK

"They're all going to die sometime soon anyway, man," Toadsworth argued.

"That's no reason to destroy a perfectly good door." E.Gadd replied.

"Would you two stop arguing I hear someone coming." Peach said

The suspense was killing them. Eventually, the doorknob slowly turned and the door began to open. During this few minutes of suspense DK crossed his fingers hopping for the best. The door finally opened and Waluigi towered above them.

"You're an awkward guardian!" DK exclaimed.

"Yeah, what's it to you" Waluigi retorted.

"I don't know. I expected someone a little more screwed up." DK said

"I'm about as screwed up as it gets, I appeared in a sports game, never had my own game, don't know how I'm related to Mario, Wario, and Luigi, and I don't even know how I got here." Waluigi explained leading them into the castle.

"Buttered hotcakes, what side of the spectrum are you from?" Toadsworth asked

"I don't know. The doctor said something about to much purple." Waluigi replied

"So where are you keeping it?" E.Gadd looked around "We're busy people."

"Oh the awkward star I'm not just going to give that to you" Waluigi already seemed to be defending something.

"Why, it's not like it makes your life any easier." Peach replied

"Oh you are so wrong" Waluigi shook his head. "The awkward stars make the awkward guardians normal."

"Are you serious, this is unprecedented study" E.Gadd already had out some paper and pencil "How does it do this?"

"Well, for the 5 most awkward people in this kingdom receive these on the fact that they absorb all their awkwardness for a year. When the year is up, the star moves on and our awkwardness builds again. It goes in one huge cycle"

"That is amazing I shall wow the scientific community." E.Gadd had taken 20 pages of notes off of that, mostly doodles of him excepting scientific prizes.

"How can you give the awkward stars away then?" DK asked "I mean, wouldn't they start absorbing our awkwardness, but if that's the case why is it they cause really awkward moments for us and not you."

"Isn't it obvious DK Waluigi isn't affected by the stars." E.Gadd didn't give Waluigi a chance to talk.

Waluigi sighed, "you're the scientist, I thought at least you'd know this stuff. What really happens is the awkwardness is dispersed from the star causing a really awkward moment to happen; the problem is it doesn't happen right off the back. The awkward moment can happen up too 12 hours from the trade.

"I never though awkwardness could take on a physical form, let alone that it'd be so complicated." Peach was completely confused.

"Duh, that's why the guardian are some of the smartest people in the world," Waluigi rolled his eyes

"But you're not smart" DK said "your as dumb as a post."

"Hey, posts are smarter than that, I mean, I'm poster than a smart." Waluigi couldn't counter DK's insult

"Apparently not." Toadsworth mumbled. "But let's get down to business, we want the star, what do you want for it?"

"Hmm" Waluigi rubbed his chin, "I want Peach's castle."

"NO YOU PURPLE COVERED RUFFIAN, NEVER!!!" Toadsworth screamed.

"Calm down, well you see, the castle is more or less busy at the moment. That's why we need the star to fix it." E.Gadd explained.

"NEVER!!!" Toadsworth's face began to turn red.

"And the weirdness will spread, you'll get your star back, we just need it temporarily" E.Gadd continued.

"Well, is the weirdness going to affect me?" Waluigi noticed Peach admiring his sports trophies.

"Possibly it could be powerful enough to disrupt the awkward stars if it grows for to long." E.Gadd replied

"Then I don't care." Waluigi folded his arms and turned around.

"You really are stupid, did you understand anything he just said." DK said.

"No, that's why I don't care." Waluigi stayed in that position.

"EVER!!!" Toadsworth kept going.

DK sighed. "Basically, if we don't get the star, it will eventually stop working."

It took a while for Waluigi to process the info. After 10 minutes Waluigi freaked out and ran all over the place, even on the wall and the roof. His screams began to become annoying, so E.Gadd grabbed a trophy and put a laser up to it. Waluigi took a while coming around the corridor but when he finally came, he instantly stopped.

"What are you doing to my trophy" Waluigi stared at E.Gadd

"Making you stop." E.Gadd put down the trophy, not realizing that Waluigi would start running again. "Look we need that awkward star if you don't want this to happen." He put the trophy back at the laser.

"Okay" Waluigi finally came to his senses "but I'm coming with you."

"Yes! We got one star and my pants are still on." DK smiled.

"You're a monkey you don't wear pants." Peach said.

**Speaking of Monkeys… Queue Mission Impossible music.**

Cranky was on the run again, except this time he had hijacked an escalade, with Lamborghini doors. This time the MKPD didn't wait to pull out the big guns, tanks galore. However Cranky's Escalade was outfitted speed racer style. He had catapulted threw tanks all day. It wasn't enough though to avoid helicopters. Cranky realized his only chance was to use the star he obtained earlier. He pulled it out and rammed it into the steering wheel. Suddenly, the car began to hover and had gained air missiles and air to ground missiles. It was cake from then on he took out the other helicopters with ease. He then floored it and flew off to mushroom kingdom. However about 100 miles from mushroom kingdom the car ran out of gas and Cranky had to jump out just before it crashed.

**End Chapter Along with mission impossible music…**

**Author's note: Cranky's getting closer and closer too mushroom kingdom, I wonder what's going to happen when he gets there. And who knew how complicated moments of awkwardness could be.**


	10. Battle at the azalea springs

Ch 9 battle at the azalea spring

"WOW, this is good pasta," The koopa that gave the tour munched down.

"Well, it's not bad" Bowser couldn't hold it. "Okay, this I the best pasta I've had.

"Told you that you didn't know how to make a good bowl of pasta." Mario smiled triumphantly.

"Where did you learn to make pasta like this?" TG was also there.

"Time and Experience." Mario said. "You can't immediately learn to make a good pasta, it takes years of practice."

"You got to teach me how to make this" Bowser began licking the bowl.

"Only when you teach me how to breathe fire." Mario replied

"Oh come on it's easy" Bowser threw his bowl at one of the butlers.

"Wait a minute, a few days ago you were threatening to kill each other. Now you're exchanging recipes." TG said. "What happened?"

"Well, it's amazing what happens when no one cares about the princess anymore." Mario replied.

"Yeah, no kidnapping or saving, it's like a dream come true." Bowser got another helping of pasta

"So you do want to rule the world now." The koopa said.

"Of course, ruling is awesome anyone who annoys you in the slightest way can be set on fire." Mario lit a flame in his hand.

"Yeah, now we can begin our next course of action." TG said. "We need to find a place to land."

"That means we need a good spot to rule from." Mario rubbed his chin.

"I prefer one with a spa," Bowser stated. "World rulers need to relax every now and then."

"Yeah, and a nice garden." Mario added.

"With a place for azaleas." Bowser began daydreaming then noticed every one looking at him. "What there a nice flower."

"Anyway, why don't you two go ahead and take a look around" TG said.

"What are you talking about?" Mario asked. "Last I checked we were flying over a jungle"

"Yeah, but we're out of there and in a meadow with a hot springs" the koopa said.

"Talk about convenience" Bowser finished off his second bowl and stood.

"I wouldn't say as much convenience as laziness." TG mumbled heading toward the front door.

"Huh?" Bowser asked.

"Nothing." TG replied.

**Meanwhile…**

Tracking down a giant castle isn't as easy as it sounds, especially when homicidal environmentalist are following you every step of the way. This is the case for Yoshi, Jin, Luigi, and Diddy Kong. They have been tracking the castle for about a month now, and they were getting a bit tired of it.

"Oh finally, that castle seems to be stopping." Luigi celebrated.

"In a meadow with a waterfall, and azaleas." Yoshi grabbed his ridiculator. "Something doesn't sound right."

"Well, It sort of makes sense, it was shoot by E.Gadd at the highest level." Jin said.

"No, the highest level is wtcomhfj, the lowest is, huh" Yoshi showed them the knobs.

"What does wtcomhfj?" Diddy asked.

"You don't want to know." Yoshi shook his head.

"There you are. I've finally caught up with you again." It was Gen. Vier, except now he had a scar on his eye.

"What do you want from us!" Luigi yelled, "My life is already crazy enough without you freaks on my tail."

"I want you all away from the environment." Gen. Vier. "You 4 keep destroying the biomes and their beauty"

"Your point, there are bigger fish to fry out there." Diddy Kong rolled his eyes.

"It's saying like that, that make us have to fry them" Gen. Vier replied.

"You guys are vegetarians too, give me a break. Even a Yoshi eats some bacon every now and then." Yoshi messed around with the knob on the ridiculator.

"Hey guys. The castle is doing something very peculiar." Jin looked over the hillside but every one ignored him.

"You animal" Gen. Vier replied to Yoshi's comment.

"Thank you very much sir." Yoshi took a bow.

"Anyway, now that I have you I'm gonna… I'm gonna." Gen. Vier had no idea what to do.

"Well, you could call back up" Luigi mumbled.

"Of course." Gen. Vier pulled out a radio.

"Idiot." Diddy punched Luigi

"Seriously guys this isn't normal, even for this situation." Jin kept looking at the castle.

"Well, things aren't exactly normal over here" Yoshi replied.

"Yeah, well now the castle has Mario and Bowser tattooed all over it." Jin said. "The tank body is gone and has been replaced by a regular wall made of metal." His words came out nervously.

"At least we don't have to worry about it moving anymore" Luigi began to run before the EMK troops got there.

"Where are you going?" Gen. Vier chased after Luigi.

"Yeah now we have to worry about how to avoid the EMK" Yoshi ran with Luigi.

"Get inside the castle!" Jin was head of everyone else.

"What are you crazy!" Diddy yelled back. "Going in there could get killed."

"Do you have a better idea?" Jin said back.

"Yeah, part one: yoshi shoots Jin with the gun, part two: Jin fights the EMK, part three: we run for help while jinn fights the EMK." Luigi looked back to see if the troops had made it there yet. "Slow troops" he mumbled

"Not bad" Yoshi pulled out the ridiculator and aimed it at Jin.

"Wait!" Jin yelled but it was too late. The beam hit Jin causing him to become huge and he had two machines where his canines used to be. He also had gained a revolver on one hand and the other hand had a pair of brass knuckles. "I'M FREAKING OFF WHITE!" Jin yelled

"What, who cares." Yoshi said. "I'm green with blue eyes and red shoes."

"NO, BOOS IS WHITE." He stated

"Is he turning gansta?" Luigi asked noticing the EMK troops finally making it there.

"Bleepin' yes I am" Jin replied

"If you're turning gansta you could at least say the words." Yoshi said.

"Bleepin' bleepin' no, mother bleeper" A few golden chains appeared around Jin but they just fell off because he's a ghost.

"Whatever let's go" Diddy kept running.

"Let's get this bleepin' thing on you bleepers!" Jin loaded his machine guns, "I'll tear down as many bleepin trees as I want"

"You animal" Gen. Vier said. "Troops attack!" he shouted

The EMK troops rushed at Jin who began mowing them down with his machine guns. Despite the fact that it was one giant gansta ghost against about 5,000 obsessive environmentalists. This was a fairly decent battle. The tide began to change though when someone's cell phone started ringing, but that's later.

**Meanwhile…**

"What the crap" Mario and Bowser had walked outside to check out the surroundings. "What is a giant ghost doing fighting those… those somethings."

"Heck if I know." Bowser said I just wanted to see the azaleas.

"That is quite disturbing." TG said "and I keep hearing these bleep noises."

"Mario! Mario!" Luigi ran up getting ready to hug his brother.

"Whoa, wait a minute" Mario put his hands out stopping the hug. "How did you get here?"

"We've been following you since E.Gadd shot the castle" Yoshi held the ridiculator.

"What for, we don't need any help." Bowser said.

"Well, when you see a castle transform like that, you kind of figure the people inside need help." Yoshi retorted.

"Who or what are those guys?" Mario pointed at the EMK troops.

"Oh them, they've been tracking us ever since Yoshi, Luigi, and Jin met up with me in the jungle." Diddy explained. "They're the environmentalists of mushroom kingdom."

"There's an environmentalist group in mushroom kingdom?" Mario interrupted Diddy Kong.

"Yeah, anyway, these guys are insane. I mean I live in the forest and I wouldn't go to these lengths to protect my home." Diddy said.

"So do we, but we believe in fighting for what worth protecting." Gen. Vier appeared behind them all.

"Who the heck are you?" Bowser asked. "As if the ghost wasn't weird enough."

"Mother bleepers!" Jin yelled across the field.

"I'm General Vier, I head." Gen. Vier suddenly found Luigi's hand across his mouth.

"Shut up, will you." Luigi picked Gen. Vier up "He Jin this guy said your momma!"

"WHAT!" Jin instantly spawned a mini version of himself that carried Gen. Vier back into battle.

"Okay, anyway we need your help." Luigi waved his hands in the air. "These guys are trying to kill us."

"You friend seems to have it under control." Bowser began wondered how many clips Jin had with him.

"It'll wear off soon enough, my ridiculator will only last for so long." Yoshi said.

"Do you want us to assist them?" TG asked

"How?" Mario asked.

"Hey, we can fight. I just never thought we'd need to." TG replied.

"Fine then. TROOPS ATTACK." Mario pointed at the EMK. "Man, I've always wanted to say that."

Suddenly the castle began spewing out blobs, koopas, goombas, and other creature that were carrying mushrooms, fire flowers, stars, and the occasional sword. That ran fiercely at the EMK and the real battle began.

**Author's note: yeah I'm a cliffhanger person, and where's Cranky Kong? Well that remains to be found out. Please R&R.**


	11. The Battle

Ch 10 The battle with a dance scene

This was one of the most intense battles anyone had seen. Mushroom, vegetables, and bullets were flying everywhere along with the occasional toad. At the EMK's dismay, Jin began ripping trees out of the ground and launching them at random troops after he ran out of clips. However the EMK had started using the first environmentally friendly gun ever created, it spread fertilizer and seeds everwhere at speeds faster than a bullet. Too make things even more interesting Yoshi, Luigi, and Diddy Kong had been ridiculated and joined the fight. Luigi gained a shotgun and moon walking and sliding his way around the field along with sunglasses and a disco shirt over his normal outfit. Diddy began acting much like a teenager, he randomly yelled at people and had depressions that sent a wave of destruction through the crowd, he could also talk so fast that it made peoples brain . Yoshi was the worst, he became an all out lawyer. How was this effective? Well, Yoshi randomly accused people of breaking the law in such a strong manner that they began to break down and cry. Even worse, he could yell "objection" at anytime causing an explosion in the direction he pointed and the louder he yelled, the more powerful the explosion. Even with the EMK's new tanks they couldn't manage to keep up with this army of random creatures put together because Mario said so.

"This is an awesome way to start off my, err umm, our world rule." Bowser had out a lawn chair with some lemonade on a small table.

"I hope they don't tear everything up" Mario heard objection once again across the field. He had also taken to planting some azaleas in front of the field.

"Hello gentleman" Gen. Vier finally made it out of the battle.

"You're that toad from earlier aren't you" Bowser sat up.

"That's general to you private." Gen. Vier

"pssh, I going to be world ruler, I speak up to no one." Mario replied.

"Anyway, I'm general Vier, I am the head of the EMK battle forces." Gen. Vier was cut off.

"EMK?" Mario asked

"Environmentalists of Mushroom Kingdom." Gen. Vier smiled. "So, I found your friends destroying that forest out there and I had to stop them. I've been tracking them for days and now I can finally defeat them. That's four more anti-environmentalist out of the world, mwahahaha" He stopped and cleared his throat. "But that would seem impossible unless you call off your troops." Gen. Vier finished.

"Okay, they're all my friends that's why I called my guys on your guys." Mario said

"So you're not going to help me" Gen. Vier "So I guess I have to do this the hard way."

"Look, I'm the legendary Mario along with the infamous." Mario pointed at Bowser

"Don't worry Mario I'll take, you just keep planting the azaleas." Bowser stood up and finished off his lemonade. "I hate to see the battle end so early though."

"What do you mean?" Gen. Vier asked.

"I mean I'm going to destroy." Bowser warmed up his fired breath. "I haven't had any action in a while.

"OU" Luigi screamed like Micheal Jackson across the field, interrupting the fight that hadn't begun.

"He's not going to." Mario stopped planting.

"Oh God no." Bowser covered his ears.

Smooth Criminal began playing off of the castles speakers while Luigi's hat transformed into a dance hat with an L on it. Once the music got started everyone except those affect by the ridiculator felt a need to dance. Everyone danced together while Luigi began singing.It was a spectacle as toads, blobs, and environmentalists formed together to create a dance number led by Luigi. Gen. Vier joined in too, moon-walking along with Luigi. As the song continued Yoshi began to hand out liability wavers to all the dancers. Jin, however, continued on a warpath by still killing environmentalists. The best part was that this whole thing was televised by a couple trees that had been ridiculated. The second best part was that a monkey joined when the ground began to turn a dance floor.

"Now this is what I call a battle" Bowser sat back down in his lawn chair.

"Plus free front row seats." Mario completely forgot about the flowers.

The battle ended along with the song as Gen. Vier realized five troops remained.

"MEN, RETREAT" He yelled. "You win this round, but I'll be back."

"I'll be waiting, the papers are already…" Yoshi finally changed back "What the, that was weird."

"I'll say, and why do I have this sudden urge to dance."

"I don't but I want to keep saying bleepin' bleepin' bleepin'" Jin held his head.

**Queue exciting climatic music…**

Not only was Cranky Kong still in a high speed chase, but he was now street racing against a Lexus that had been transformed to look like a Malibu, and a Ford with the engine of a hummer. I wonder who's going to win. Anyway, Cranky's star powered speed racer escalade was too far ahead of everyone. Mainly cause they were scared that they'd get blown up if they appeared even as spec in his rear view mirror. Cranky flew across the road at speeds unheard of to Internet connections everywhere. Then something happened, he passed a highway sign that said "Mushroom Kingdom exit 1 mile.". Cranky had mad it, through high security prisons, police forces, muscular koopas, malls, and the occasional public bathroom, he finally arrived at mushroom kingdom. So, he press the eject and flew out the car taking his star with him, 5 minutes later the police force and his rivals were destroyed by the self destruct mode of the car. Cranky Kong landed in mushroom kingdom square by using the power of his star to navigate. He jumped out of the seat and ran off.

**End off with scary music… **


	12. Turning point

Ch 11 turning point

Peach, Toadsworth, E.Gadd, DK, and their new partner Waluigi had managed to gather no more stars than they had left off with, so far on their adventure. Mostly because from this point on people freaked out when they saw princess Peach and her concierge along with the famous DK and not so famous Waluigi. So, surprisingly they only had one of the five awkward stars needed to kill the weirdness. Well, everything was about to change.

"What you all doing!" E.Gadd asked watching Peach sip a smoothie on his couch.

"Taking a break, I'm tired." Peach.

"But we only got one awkward star." E.Gadd complained. "We should be trying to get all the stars we can.

"Your point, not like anything bad is going to happen." Peach said.

"Something bad always happens after someone says that you know" DK was eating a banana and watching another boxing match.

"WAAH!" Waluigi came running through the hall with his hat buzzing around his head attacking him like an eagle.

"You didn't touch the spasmic generator. " E.Gadd follow Waluigi down the hall.

"Told you." DK said.

"It's better really, now I can watch the TV in peace." Toadsworth laid back "SOB AND LEAVE, SOB AND LEAVE" He yelled.

"It's bob and weave." DK corrected Toadsworth.

"Even I knew that." Peach kept sipping her smoothie.

**Meanwhile…**

Cranky Kong had been ravaging to castle town. Breaking and entering everything he could. At first he headed to mushroom kingdom to find DK, after locking him in jail for something he didn't do, Cranky wanted revenge. But now he felt he had a greater purpose, like another reason to be in Mushroom kingdom. However his search for DK was most important to him, but DK was nowhere to be found. E.Gadd's mansion was hidden in a forest not to far out of town, and Cranky had no clue DK was there. Pretty soon he began he began interrogating toads, none of which knew DK's location.

**Back at E.Gadd's**

"Okay" E.Gadd breathed heavily after chasing Waluigi around the mansion. "Now that that's over, we need to get out and search for stars.

"Left jab fellow, left jab" Toadsworth continued to yell at the screen.

"What the heck are you talking about, we're watching my soaps." Peach held the remote in her hand "There's no jabbing in soaps."

"Want to bet." DK mumble while trying to beat his own game DK King Swing. "What the Crap, I Caught!" HE threw the game out the window. "and this was supposed to be a kid's game.

"Are you listening to me?" E.Gadd turned off the TV.

"Hey, I just found out that Renaldo just cheated on Lynda with Donna who just had an affair with Lynda's brother. While Lynda had an affair with some guy in a comma."

"That's just wrong." Waluigi walked in to her the last part. "What sicko thought of that?"

"No excuses, we need to find those stars or some very weird will happen." E.Gadd kept being ignored as Peach turned back on the TV

"Oh my God there was no guy in a comma it was really a love sick dolphin." Peach to a second to realize what really just happened. "Okay, You can messed with the space time continuum and even my hair, but when you mess with my soaps, I'm going to put you in a new dimension of hurt." She grabbed Toadsworth and headed towards the door.

"NO, he was just beginning the countdown." Toadsworth failed to struggle free of Peach's grasp.

"And he's supposed to be the civilized one." Waluigi sighed shaking his head.

"What about you DK?" E.Gadd asked.

"Well now that the SP is broken." DK walked out the door.

"So were are we going?" Peach asked

"Dairy Prince Burgers." E.Gadd "My perfect combination of Burger King and Dairy Queen."

"How many business's do you own." Waluigi asked, "As if your coffee shops don't bring in enough money."

"There always room for a bigger budget when you're a scientist" E.Gadd stuck a finger in the air.

**Meanwhile at Dairy Prince Burgers…**

Four toad teenagers sat around a table in the restaurant talking about random meaningless stuff. They also were waiting for E.Gadd, because he had sent them a message saying to meet them there.

"One hour late." An awkward guardian named Quadratum complained. "You think he'd be on time"

"Like it matters." Another guardian named Fall said, "We'd be hiding from that monkey in here anyway."

"Yeah, he'd shake us clean of our stars if this place didn't have a no shirt no shoes no service policy." The third guardian named Axe sat with his arms folded.

"I don't care, I hate waiting for people." Quadratum continued to complain.

"You're smart but impatient aren't you" Cranky walked through door.

"You can talk." Fall got out her chair.

"Sir I'm going to have to ask you to leave." Cranky Kong threw the manager out the window.

"This is not good." The fourth guardian named Chrys back away.

"You're the only one's I haven't asked." Cranky walked slowly toward them.

"Who are you and want do you want." Axe pulled out an axe (ironic huh) and seemed to be trying to threaten Cranky.

"Settle down son, I don't want to ruin your reputation." Cranky didn't even glance in his direction.

"What do you want?" Chrys asked "We're just kids."

"You four have to know where the blasted son of monkey is" Cranky kept moving toward them

"Ew, you said a dirty word." Quadratum said "Besides what are you talking about, I don't know any monkey."

"What about the one" Fall was jabbed by Chrys.

"Shut up" Chrys whispered.

"So you do know." Cranky said. "Tell me where is he."

"You'll get nothing out of us." Axe launched at Cranky, but Cranky shuffled to the side, causing Axe to look like an idiot as he hit the ground.

"I told you I didn't want to ruin your reputation son." Cranky finally stopped moving.

"This is really not good" Chrys mumbled. "Where's the heroic moment that normally happens.

"Hey guys sorry I'm, oh the freak of this kingdom what's going on." E.Gadd walked in along with everyone else.

"It's said when you're restaurant is terrorized by a old man like ourselves." Toadsworth mumbled.

"DK?" Cranky turned around.

"Cranky?" DK said.

"Finally I've found you." Cranky said.

"I didn't know you were looking for me." DK replied.

"Now I can finally get my revenge." Cranky said.

"Revenge? For what?" DK was utterly confused.

"YOU GOT ME THROWN IN JAIL FOR SUPPOSEDLY STEALING YOUR GIANT BANANA, DO YOU KNOW THAT I RISKED LOSING MY VIRGINITY TO A MAN BECAUSE OF YOU. NEVER AGAIN SON, NEVER AGAIN." Cranky lost his temper. "Now, it is time for you to pay."

"He's over sixty years old and is still a virgin." Fall mumbled.

"Poor man." Quadratum added.

"Okay, I remember," DK looked down, "that was a really bad day."

"Good, because I'm about to put you in a new dimension of pain." Cranky unsheathed his sword.

"That's my line." Peach said.

"Great flaming biscuits, DK run before he kills you!" Toadsworth yelled

"There's now way you can outrun me, especially with my new found power." His star appeared above him.

"Oh no," Axe said. "It's a… a… a…"

"It's a weird star, RUN" Waluigi ran to hide in the bathroom.

"It's not possible I didn't think they existed" E.Gadd had taken more notes on this. "Could this be a side effect of my ridiculator."

"Oh they exist alright," Quadratum said. "The problem is they're the only threat to the awkward stars."

"So, that's what this thing is called" Cranky pushed up his glasses. "That's a nice little tidbit, now where were we." He failed to notice DK took off so fast that a dusk cloud remained.

"There is no possible way this can be good." Chrys said.

**Author's Note: So it took me a little while to get this chapter up, but I hope you like it… please R&R.**


	13. A little Craziness in the town

Ch 12 A little Craziness in the Town

"Look Cranky I'm sorry!" DK said, "You know how I am with bananas, if you take them I go crazy!"

"Enough to throw me in high security prison!" Cranky waved his sword in the air. "A fee of $20 I wouldn't mind paying, but a month with freaks is where I cut the line."

"It hasn't even been a month yet!" DK yelled "and it's not that easy to get someone out high security prison that easily"

"Doesn't mean you had to put me in jail."

"Okay would you stop arguing. I'm trying to hide." Waluigi exposed himself. "Wait, oh crap, that was stupid."

"I stopped running for the stupidest distraction ever. DK you're a lucky one." Cranky noticed the dust cloud left by DK. "I should punish you but I am far too blinded by my will to harm DK to hurt you right now."

**Meanwhile…**

"Okay now that, the crazy monkey bros. are gone let's get down to business." E.Gadd said

"No, I want to know what just happened." Axe tried to sound demanding but puberty caused his voice to squeak and it backfired.

"I don't even know even know everything." E.Gadd replied

"Actually I'm curious as to why all the guardians are teenagers." Toadsworth scratched his chin.

"Have you ever been a teenager?" Quadratum complained. "Some of us are more screwed up than Waluigi."

"Look here, I have been around the block a few times and I'll be daft if I let a little boy tell me that teenagers are more screwed up than adults." Toadsworth retorted.

"Pssh, yah, waving your cane around and telling the princess what to do is so hard while having servants in the palace cater to your every whim." Fall said sarcastically.

"LOOK HERE YOU RUFFIANS!" Toadsworth was cut off by E.Gadd who already had his lab equipment set up.

"You all can continue arguing later we need to save the world now." E.Gadd finished up.

"Save the world. Are you serious?" Chrys nearly stuttered.

"Well, you are the guardians" E.Gadd replied. "All guardians save the world at sometime"

"Alright finally the chance I've been looking for!" Axe paused for a second. "I mean, cool" He leaned against the table.

Toadsworth sighed. "I'll never understand the little ones."

"Enough talk, give me your Awkward stars" E.Gadd seemed to be rushing them.

"Chill dude, we got time." Quadratum said.

"Actually we don't, so hurry up." E.Gadd put out his hand.

"What?" Peach gasped, "A little warning about the time would've been nice."

"Well the rate of the ridiculator has doubled, and soon in the stars will start losing power." E.Gadd said.

"Could you actually tell us what we need our stars for? I mean I'm completely lost here." Fall queried.

"I would but, that would waste time, now give them to me." E.Gadd kept pushing.

Everyone nodded and agreed to trust the crazy old scientist for some reason. So, the summoned their stars and gave them to E.Gadd. However just by their luck, the stars energy dispersed causing Toadsworth's walking stick to break sending a fragment flying into Peach who's perfect, princess like, balance causing her to topple over. During her fall she knocked a over a soda onto the floor, right as an employee walked by and slipped. The employee regained balance but dropped an order fries. The fries landed in front of Chrys who just happens to be allergic to them. She sneezed violently causing a germ-a-phobe to scream and run across the restaurant knocking over E.Gadd's lab equipment into the drink the Peach knocked over.

"Figures" Axe commented.

"I'll get you one day, you ruffian," Toadsworth shouted waving a fist to the sky.

Peach sighed, "Now what are we going to do."

"We go back to the lab." E.Gadd sighed. "Only a waste of more time."

"What'd you expect anyway, that's how awkwardness works." Quadratum said.

"That's really screwed up." Peach said. "How are you going to survive once the stars are gone?"

"I'll manage, I don't know about the rest of them though" Fall remarked.

**Meanwhile… **

DK had been running from Cranky for what felt like hours. People began to raise money off of both of them like they were walking to help the poor. Cranky only seemed concentrated on harming DK. However, one can only run for so long and DK soon found himself cornered.

"Crap I'm cornered." DK had been running from Cranky for a while and now he had nowhere to run.

"Finally, I can exact my revenge." Cranky unsheathed his sword

"Well, could you go light on the slashing and heavy on the lecturing" DK began to cower.

"Don't worry DK I'll save you!" Waluigi jumped over the roof and landed

"You" DK paused "What can you do?"

"You'll see." Waluigi summoned his star.

"Son, I'll tear threw you like paper." Cranky also summoned his star.

Cranky launched at more violently at Waluigi than when Luigi launched at Mario for bringing dirty shoes onto his clean floor. However Waluigi swiftly dodged as with a certain grace. He then pulled a tennis racket and slashed at Cranky who flipped backwards and sliced the racket in half. Waluigi was unphased by the lost of his racket and pulled out a golf club and launched multiple golf balls at Cranky. Cranky quickly sheathed and twirled his cane blocking all the golf balls only to by hit with Waluigi's golf club. He stood back up and wiped the blood off his mouth.

"You can stop kidding around now. You are seriously holding back." Waluigi pointed his golf club at Crank Kong who seemed to have reverted back to his previous silence."

"Waluigi why are you protecting me, not like I ever helped you before." DK asked. Cranky nodded in agreement.

"You see DK you did help me. It was way back in a game of Mario Party 5." Waluigi looked down to shade his eyes. "There was one game were some bets got out of control and Wario bet our house and Peach bet the castle. Well It was at the last turn and Yoshi landed on your space and we played a…" Waluigi began to ramble on much to DK's and Cranky's dismay. Several hours later, long after DK and Cranky had fallen asleep, Waluigi finished up. "So then I grabbed that star like the girlfriend I never had and the next day we moved into Peach's castle. But then she built a new and even better one, which caused Wario to go crazy and leave the house to me. Now he's out somewhere learning survival of the fittest the hard way."

"Huh, what?" DK woke up "is it over."

"Quiet." Waluigi whispered "Can't you see the crazy monkey is still sleeping. Now let's get out of here."

"Good idea." DK ran off, followed by Waluigi.

**Later…**

"Geese where is he?" E.Gadd paced his lab "I can't complete the process without Waluigi's star.

"I'm back." DK yelled walking in. "Along with Waluigi.

"Hot buttered biscuits what took you so long?" Toadsworth commented

"It doesn't matter. We need to start now." E.Gadd grabbed Waluigi and pulled him into the lab.

**Author's Note: Sorry about the delay, but I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Please R&R**


	14. EVIL

Ch 13 Mario has gone evil!!!!

"How can there be a prophecy? This thing's only been around for a few weeks." Yoshi asked.

"You know, I stopped questioning this stuff a while back. Now that I know what's going on, I definitely not questioning anything." Bowser replied.

"All the same. Yoshi you have to shoot this place so we can go back home" Luigi said.

"Wait, what are you talking about." Mario stood as if he were guarding the castle. "I love this place"

"No one falls in love in love in a few weeks." Yoshi pulled out his ridiculator.

"Babies fall in love from birth." Mario replied.

"Yeah, after 9 months inside." Diddy Kong added

"I fell in love with a girl in less than a week." Bowser commented.

"You, what kind of girl would you fall in love with." Yoshi asked.

"Well," Bowser twiddled his fingers. "I'd rather not say."

"Besides the point I'm not letting you destroy this place." Mario took a fighting stance.

"You think you can take all of us." Diddy Kong said.

"Well, all I really have to do is punch that ghost in the back, throw a banana in the woods, throw Luigi's hat to parts unknown, and tell Yoshi his house is on fire."

"MY HOUSE IS ON FIRE." Yoshi began to run off but Luigi held him back long enough for Mario to throw his hat into a mud puddle.

"NOOOOOOO, you BAS." Luigi was cut off.

"Mario's more evil than I am." Bowser was amazed at how quickly Mario took apart the group. "Maybe I should take lessons from him."

"You see Bowser, It's all about reconnaissance." Mario said. "Knowing your enemy is the first path to victory."

"You punk, you ripped that off from Snake." Luigi was busy trying to cleanse every last fiber of his hat from the mud. "you could at least let the game come out first."

"Eh, I don't really care" Mario shrugged. "I learned being evil is fun from time to time."

"When did you learn that?" Bowser asked

"Just recently from you" Mario answered. The reply stunned Bowser; his jaw literally detached from his skull and hit the ground.

"Are there no star spirits in the world?" Luigi had finally given up cleaning his hat and made a makeshift hat out of some leaves and dirt, but his L got screwed up and somehow looked more like the Japanese symbol for love.

"You might just want to go with the hat." Bowser managed to get his jaw back.

"Come on let's go." Mario walked back into the castle. "I think we can find a better place to stay."

"Alright" Bowser began to smile. "My most powerful enemy becomes my most powerful ally." He mumbled

"MARIO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Luigi screamed on for about five minutes straight then fainted of airless.

**The Next day…**

It took sometime for everyone to regroup and once they did, it took forever for Luigi to become conscious. However he admitted to just napping after he gained conscious. Luigi then proceeded to go on a rant about losing track of the castle until Yoshi said they never would've lost the castle if Luigi then nap.

"Well this is just crap" Diddy kicked the ground "Mario's gone evil, now what are we going to do?"

"I vote we get ice cream!" Jin exclaimed, and then everyone glared at him "It's just a suggestion." He murmured.

"Guys wh-what happens if Ma-Mario decides to kidnap Peach" Yoshi stuttered.

"Oh god, the whole ecosystem will be screwed up!" Luigi screamed. "Everyone will die!" Everyone paused for a second

"Suits me, I'm already dead" Jin broke the silence.

"You're undead which just means you'll die again." Luigi began to freak out but Diddy stopped him

"I don't know about total apocalypse but bad stuff will happen." Diddy held Luigi down.

"Well I have to do something." Yoshi stood profoundly.

"What are you talking about we're all going with you and we're all getting the credit." Diddy said.

"It doesn't matter Mario's not here to stop Bowser this time, let alone himself." Luigi said.

"So we, I mean, I can stop him this time" Yoshi replied. "If I can defeat his son I can defeat Bowser."

"Don't you mean w-" Jin was cut off by Luigi.

"Yes, think about it, if you can defeat Bowser alone think about how much easier it would be when we're there with you" Luigi winked at Jin.

"Yes, with us as your sidekicks there's no way we can lose." Jin added.

"Well, sidekicks don't do much anyways, but let's go." Yoshi started to walk off

"Why did Yoshi start acting so heroic" Diddy asked Luigi.

"Well, let's just say he's tired of Mario riding on his back, and this is his only chance to get back at him without getting in trouble." Luigi answered beginning to follow Yoshi.

"I got a feeling this isn't going to end well," Jin said.

**Author's Note: sorry late update and short chapter but what can a guy do. Please R&R**


	15. Cranky Kong the mechanical beast

Ch 14 Cranky Kong, the mechanical beast

"Yeah" E.Gadd was on the phone with Luigi "mmhmm. Alright, well, that's not good. Don't worry I'll have everything fixed up here in a quick minute."

"So, what's going on" Peach barely gave E.Gadd a chance to hang up.

"Well," E.Gadd took a dramatic pause. "Mario has gone evil."

"GREAT FLIPPING MONKEY IN A SHOTGUN BARREL." Toadsworth nearly busted Peach's eardrums "I CAN'T BE TRUE."

"Yes, sadly it is, no doubt an effect of the ridiculator" E.Gadd sighed. "What possessed me to create such a device?"

"It doesn't matter why you made it, we just need to fix things before they get worse." Peach smacked Toadsworth with a frying pan for nearly busting her eardrums.

"That's what I'm doing" E.Gadd headed back to the lab. Everyone followed.

"Okay, now the that's done with, we need to calm DK down." Toadsworth said, "The poor lad has been shaking since his encounter with Cranky Kong."

"What exactly happened?" Peach asked.

"What do you think, Cranky tried to kill him" Waluigi replied. "Now he's hiding somewhere in this mansion. Like that will save him from a weird star." Waluigi mumbled.

"Well that's not good, what if he encounter one of the ghost or king Boo" E.Gadd began messing around with the awkward stars.

"I haven't seen any ghost in this place." Waluigi said. "And I ran all over it."

"That's because they're shy around visitors unless they scare easily. But you guys have been here so much that they can't tell the difference now. Normally I would have Jin here to bring out all his friends anyway, but he's not here."

"That's not good, DK is already scared out of his mind." Toadsworth walked out. "I shudder to think what would, GREAT PANCAKES." Toadsworth was stopped by a ghost."

"E.Gadd!" The ghost yelled nearly making E.Gadd kill Waluigi with a screwdriver.

"Oh, king boo, it's an honor, to see you in my lab again." E.Gadd bowed.

"It don't see what the big deal is he's just a stu" Waluigi was shut up by E.Gadd

"Yes, yes I know I'm awesome and you all are amazed at the sight of me." King Boo boasted. "What the crap is going on? Several of the ghosts turned into ice cream and ate themselves"

"Well, I'm working on the problem right now" E.Gadd began to act worried "but it'd be so much easier if I didn't have to worry about that monkey busting in and having his star screw up everything."

"Hmm, could you do it faster if this monkey wasn't a problem?" King Boo Queried.

"Yes, I could do it much faster." E.Gadd gave sort of a cynical smile.

"Fine" King Boo crossed his arms. "I'll take care of him." he snapped his fingers and a few ghost came in carrying DK.

"DK there you are" Waluigi said. "You don't look scared anymore."

"No, these guys are teaching me how to be a ghost, while I eat ice cream." DK smiled.

"Good lord, now there are monkeys becoming ghost." Toadsworth shook his head.

"Is this the monkey you needed?" King Boo asked.

"No, I'm looking for an old one with a cane. However he's stronger than he looks." E.Gadd replied

"I'll believe when I see it." King Boo began to leave several ghosts following him.

"Wait guys, I don't know to fly yet." DK started to go after them but Toadsworth held him back.

"How we're you "learning" to become a ghost anyway?" Toadsworth asked

"Well" DK tapped his chin "you see, they put this really sharp knife to my throat and"

Toadsworth cut off DK "sigh, what are we going to do with you."

"I got the band-aids." Waluigi held out a box

King Boo barely made it half way out the door when the roof was torn off by none other than Cranky Kong. King Boo wasted no time attacking; he rammed straight into Cranky Kong and carried him off. Toadsworth wasn't far behind as he yelled his semi-famous saying and flew off after then. Meanwhile DK tried to hide Waluigi but realized he was the size of a toothpick and ended up running out of the mansion into the forest. Waluigi chased after him waving the band-aid box in hands.

"I'M AN OLD MAN WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO GIVE ME A BREAK. " E.Gadd shouted to the sky.

"Well, at least this time no one was trying to kidnap me" Peach replied.

"Let's just try not to jinx things." E.Gadd examined his lab equipment. "Great Cranky damaged the equipment."

"How did he tear off the roof off a mansion?" Peach looked at the rubble around. "I mean he's old like you."

"It must be his weird star. I don't know what it can do." E.Gadd grabbed a wrench. "But if can give an old monkey that much power I don't think I want to know."

"What are you going to do with that?" Peach asked.

"Get back to work." E.Gadd tossed peach some screws.

**Meanwhile… in mushroom kingdom square**

King Boo had been facing off against Cranky Kong for a while who had transformed a house into a giant fighting robot with his weird star. Toadsworth was in the background shaking with the want to fight Cranky, but King Boo insisted to do it on his own. King Boo flew straight at Cranky who jetted into the air and tried to crush King Boo with the elbow of the robot, but King Boo went invisible and dodged the attack. Cranky stood back up and tried to sense King Boo's power level. It stood still for a second, but suddenly Crank fired hundreds of mushroom missiles at the burger king, which blew up revealing King Boo with his tail on fire. Though he felt no pain, King Boo's brain went numb trying to figure out how Cranky hurt him. Eventually King Boo forgot about it but by that time Cranky already hat set him on a catapult and set King Boo flying to parts unknown. He turned around and faced Toadsworth and took crazy monkey fighting style fighter stance.

"BRING IT ON TOOTHPICK" Toadsworth launched at Cranky "THIS WILL TEACH YOU TO PUT OUR PRINCESS IN DANGER."

**Author's Note: Cranky Kong vs. Toadsworth, who'd a thunk it. Well I hope you liked the chapter please R&R.**


	16. defying the plotline

Ch 15 defying the plot line

Yoshi, Luigi, Jin, and Diddy Kong had been walking through the forest for a while. They had been in silence for a while, the thought of Mario being evil weighed heavily on their minds, except Yoshi who still seemed confident about beating them. The silence slowly became unbearable until Luigi spoke.

"This is not good." Luigi walked in the forest with Jin, Yoshi, and Diddy Kong.

"It doesn't matter I can defeat them." Yoshi said bravely.

"So how long?" Diddy Kong asked.

"How long what?" Yoshi replied.

"Till Mario and Bowser figure out that they can do something big?" Diddy finished.

"Well, Mario's mentality plus Bowser's mentality equals the IQ of one of Burger King's Whoppers." Luigi said.

"The aren't both that stupid. Are they?" Jin said. "I always pegged Mario as pretty smart."

"Yeah… but Bowser has the IQ of a lay's potato chip." Luigi replied. "it has to make up the differences somewhere."

"But if Mario has gone evil, is there a chance Bowser might be smart." Diddy hated the idea of Bowser being smart.

"Even if so, together they'll have to IQ of a peanut." Luigi tired to make Diddy feel better. "I figure that's Bowser's mental capacity."

"I know some peanuts that nearly destroyed the universe before." Jin said.

"What does it matter I can beat them." Yoshi went on.

"Yoshi, what going on with you." Luigi said. "Ever since that battle you've been obnoxiously confident."

"Well someone's got to be strong." Yoshi said. "Besides, I'm probably the only who's figured out what they're going to do."

"I doubt they know." Diddy said. "How do you know?"

"Isn't it obvious, in fact it's the reason Mario and Bowser were in the castle when it was shot." Yoshi made it as obvious as possible.

"You think they're going to kidnap Peach." Diddy said as if was the stupidest thing he ever heard.

"Yeah" Yoshi explained. "That's always the first part of all of Bowser's plans. So all we have to do is get back to Peach before they do and hide her where they'll never find her. Later on when they come for the kidnapping we'll stage the most elaborate offensive known to toads world wide." Yoshi felt like laughing evilly but held it back.

"Even the frog-like toads?" Jin queried

"Yes, even them." Yoshi said.

"So what are we waiting for!" Luigi yelled ecstatically. "Let's finish this adventure!"

Everyone ran off into the forest. However, they failed to notice the whole time they were being track. Surprisingly, or not it was General Vier who began to monologue.

"The targets spirits have been lifted. Now defeating them will be harder, but I think I now their targeted location. If I can beat them to that location I will have the advantage." Gen. Vier continued. "Still how do I defeat a ghost, and that yoshi has some sort of gun, the green one managed to control all of my troops at that battle, and the monkey he has to be hiding something." Gen. Vier banged his head against a tree. "think think think." It suddenly hit him. He grabbed stick and began drawing in the dirt. Once he was finished he put his hand above it and a star appeared underneath it. Suddenly his creation burst to life. "hehehe, what would I do without this star."

Meanwhile…

"So, how long have you been evil?" Bowser asked Mario. "I mean you could've told me"

"Not too long," Mario said. "I just hope some good rubbed off on you."

"No way, being evil is way too much fun" Bowser laid back on a couch.

Mario sighed. "You do have a point there. You know, I'm actually looking forward to my first evil plan."

"So what are you waiting for?" Bowser said, "let's get started."

"With what, my mind has been blank since that battle." Mario began to pace back and forth.

"Yeah, seeing Luigi and Yoshi like that did make my mind go blank." Bowser said. "So, why not wing it this time. Starting with kidnapping Peach."

"We're not supposed to figure that out yet." Mario said, "You just screwed the story."

"I'm evil, I don't care about some plot line" Mario took a few steps back from Bowser expecting something bad to happen. "I say, we head to straight to wherever Peach is and kidnap her."

"Hmm, we'll that would make it easier to win this fight." Mario thought for a second ", but I have a bad feeling about what's going to happen. I mean for whatever reason we're here, it must have been to keep us out of the town."

"Once again, screw the plot line. I say we go there now" Bowser leaned up. "We get there quick enough to kidnap Peach before anything bad happens."

"I still don't like it" Mario commented. "And winging it isn't really my style."

"What are you talking about, you wing it every time you fight me." Bowser replied.

"Hey guys what's up." TG appeared

"Can you convince him that the sooner we pull something the better?" Bowser asked

"But it messes up the story line." Mario said.

"Well, Mario you do have point, but the sooner we do this the easier it will be. I don't know what you guys are planning but the longer we wait the more time our enemies have to build a defense." TG explained.

Mario sighed. "Fine, let's just get this over with."

"Alright!" Bowser exclaimed, "Set course for castle town!"

Just at that moment Bowser stuck his hand the air to express his excitement. Unfortunately he hit a conveniently placed chandelier, which swung around and hit him in the back cause him to go flying through the door and tumble down the stairs landing on, another conveniently placed, row of tacks. He screamed and ran around trying to remove the tacks. He then tripped down another flight of stairs; fell threw another, conveniently placed, trap door, and landed in the sewer system.

"I knew something bad was going to happen" Mario yelled down the trap door.

Author's Note: I guess Luigi, Yoshi, Jin, and Diddy are in for a surprise, and now I guess we know how gen. Vier created the EMK


	17. failure

Ch 16 failure

"Sweet, now I'm a true ghost" DK was floating in the air. He was every aspect of a ghost except for the shape of a boo. He didn't care though; as far as he was concerned Crank Kong couldn't hurt him.

"DK, I got the band-aid box op" Waluigi walked down the corridor of someone's house not knowing what had happened t oDK. "DK! Toadsworth is going to kill me."

"Hey, being a ghost is awesome. I don't care what Toadsworth thinks. I can live forever." DK floated towards Waluigi. "Man, you should try it." He put his arm around him. "You'd fit in perfectly."

Waluigi moved back "What? So I can be so I can be freakishly tall and lanky guy, born into a sports game, who doesn't know his mother or father, with the most annoying brother in the universe, which I've found no proof that he is my brother, not to mention my nose does not match my face and it's always red, and what sort of guy wears purple and black. To top this all off I would now be a ghost." Waluigi slowly backed up.

"Join us" on boo said, he proceeded to chant "one of us" but no one joined in and he felt humiliated and disappeared.

"See you can even disappears in times of embarrassment" DK said.

"There is no reason with you." Waluigi sighed. "Where the heck are we anyway?"

"I don't know, I kept running for a few miles, and these guys followed chanting "one of us"" DK began to search for an exit but then realized he was a ghost and began to float out, but before he made it too far the whole house was ripped out of the ground by Toadsworth, who was screaming like a madman.

"TOOTHPICKS DON'T DESERVE TO BE IN THIS KINGDOM." Toadsworth launched the house at Cranky.

Crank dodged the house, which created a swath of destruction behind him. He rushed at Toadsworth completely oblivious to the invisible DK behind him. Toadsworth block and tossed Cranky into the air and there fight continued at speeds unfathomable to the human eye.

"WALUIGI NO!" DK screamed.

"What are you talking about?" Waluigi was clinging to DK's arm. "I'm right here." 

"Well, you could've told me." DK.

"Whatever." Waluigi thought about what Toadsworth said. "What's he got against toothpicks?"

"I don't know but I'm getting out of here, before Cranky notices me." DK set Waluigi down and became visible again.

"Noobs w3 will pwn u." some wooden robots appeared.

"What the, where'd you come from." DK asked.

"Pr3par3 2 6e haxor'd" a robot launched at DK who just went invisible.

"W3 were 5ent by the great 1 2 d3stroy u," one of the robots said.

"Well, the "great one" did a horrible job programming." Waluigi slowly backed up preparing to run

"noob u r now on our pwnie list." The robot said.

"WAAH!" Waluigi took off almost as fast as Cranky when he was one the tricycle.

"What for me." DK flew after Waluigi.

"noobs, u can not 3vad3 ur pwnage" the robot said

"When are you guys going to stop talking like that?" Another robot said. "You're making the rest of us look bad."

**Meanwhile…**

"At this point it seems easier to restart them trying to clean every last grain of dust and repair this stuff." Peach was helping E.Gadd fix the equipment.

"It'd be harder to start over." E.Gadd connected a few wires.

"I still don't think so." Peach argued

"Do you understand quantum rocket physics with Galileo's laws of algebraic chemistry?" E.Gadd said

"No, bu" Peach couldn't finish her sentence.

"Exactly, I'm not going through the calculations again." E.Gadd replied. "Talk about annoying."

"E.Gadd… E.Gadd" a boo flew in. "That monkey defeated King Boo." 

"Impossible." E.Gadd said.

"Is Toadsworth still out there?" Peach asked.

"Well, there is a giant flying toad with a mustache who is putting up quite a fight." The boo said.

"You can't kill a ghost though. King Boo will be back soon enough." E.Gadd tried to calm the boo down.

"That's just it, Cranky managed to set his tail on fire, we're afraid he'll burn up." The boo kept freaking out. "He's been our leader since the 15th century."

"Is there no one next in line?" E.Gadd asked.

"It's been 6 millenniums, no one can remember that far back." The boo freaked out even more and eventually he just turned into ice cream.

"That was weird." Peach said

"Well, king boo did say that's been happening lately." E.Gadd returned to work.

"Poor DK, all this just to defend him." Peach said. "He must be scared out of his mind."

**Meanwhile…**

"haha stupid robots, you can't hurt a ghost." DK was laughing at the robots down below him.

"noobs will b" the robot caught himself "I mean, we shall destroy you!"

"DK, I could use some help down here" Waluigi was swinging at the robots with his golf club.

**Back at the destroyed mansion…**

"Okay done." E.Gadd said.

"That was quick." Peach said.

"Yes well I got tired of the math and overruled everything with Gadd's law" E.Gadd said.

"There's no such law." Peach said

"There is now. In the event that a scientist needs to save the world, the Elvin Gadd law comes into play and all other laws become null and void." E.Gadd smiled. "It's my favorite law, though I never thought I'd get to use it, and the good news I used it to fix the mansion too."

"Holy shit-talkie mushrooms" Peach looked at the roof. "When did the mansion get back over my head?"

"When you blinked." E.Gadd retorted

"So what are we waiting for, let's end this weirdness so I can go back to watching soaps on my movie screen at the castle." Peach looked at the equipment.

"Here goes." E.Gadd pressed the switch and Peach duck under an umbrella.

The whole room began to shake but then it just stopped. It was annoyingly quite than the elevator opened.

"E.Gadd we're back." Luigi said

"In black." Diddy added. Everyone eyed him "what I thought I sounded cool."

"E.Gadd wasn't something supposed to happen" Peach asked.

"Well, yes but when these guys walked in they screwed it all up." E.Gadd looked at Yoshi in particular. "Yoshi, your ridiculator screwed up the process." 

"So, whatever you're doing can't you just start it again?" Yoshi said.

"Yes but you have to leave first." E.Gadd replied.

"Whatever." Yoshi walked out

"So what's the news guys, is the castle back" Peach hoped for the best.

"Actually Mario's evil" Jin said bluntly.

"And there's some insane environmentalist after us." Diddy added

"And we have to hide Peach before it's too late." Luigi added once more.

"You four aren't good at following orders, are you?" Peach said.

"Well, catching a castle isn't exactly easy." Jin retorted.

"It doesn't matter." E.Gadd said with confidence "with the press of this button our problems will be over."

E.Gadd pressed the button again, but still nothing happened. Baffled, he began to inspect the machine.

"You didn't use Gadd's law again did you?" Jin asked.

"Yeah so, it works I tell you." E.Gadd replied quickly.

"You're a genius, but you're not so bright at times." Jin sighed, "There's no such law, all your other experiments failed when you tested this law, along with 9 other planets."

"Well how was I supposed to know aliens weren't passed 17th century technology?" E.Gadd said.

"So, we all failed," Peach said, "and now Cranky is fighting my aid, Mario is evil, My castle is gone, DK is turning into a ghost, the awkward stars seem to be useless, and there's a crazy environmentalist chasing you guys." Peach put her hand on her hips. "What are you going to do now?"

"Fix it." Everyone, even Yoshi sitting outside, said simultaneously.


	18. 4 on 4 battle royal

Ch 17 4 on 4 Battle Royal

"So, we all failed" Luigi thought hard. "Now we need to fix it before things get worse."

"Well, we could destroy all the ridiculators" Jin suggested.

"No, I told they'd make a killing on EBAY, I'm now twice as rich but there are ridiculators in other countries."

"What about Cranky Kong, if he and Toadsworth keep fighting like this the town will be destroyed." Peach mentioned.

"It doesn't matter what happens to the town" E.Gadd said, "It'll be destroyed anyway if we don't stop the weirdness." 

"You know what, either way the town will be destroyed" Yoshi walked in "Gen. Vier is going to catch up to us any minute, from what I know Toadsworth is a giant and there a monkey fighting him, and all this is supposed to get weirder."

"I vote we leave mushroom Kingdom" Diddy mumbled

"No if we stop it'll keep spreading" E.Gadd began to contemplate something.

"Well we can't stay here" Diddy replied, "I don't want to be ridiculated again."

"Yeah like I want to be a Michael Jackson wanna be" Luigi added, "That was horrible."

"Nothing worse than becoming a blood sucking tyrant bent on world destruction." Yoshi sighed thinking about the battle again.

"Yoshi, you were a lawyer" Luigi looked at Yoshi.

"I know." Yoshi replied quickly

It got quite for a minute, as everyone was glad Yoshi hadn't tried to get a lawsuit on all of them. Then Peach just began freaking out, it suddenly occurred to her that she was going to be kidnapped once again, and this time Mario couldn't save her. She almost ran out of the mansion but then Yoshi grabbed her and told her about his plan. Peach calmed down, but then just ran out into the forest.

E.Gadd sighed "I guess we have to split up again"

"No, not again" Luigi asserted "Last time, we all failed."

"Hmm, maybe it's better than she does run. I mean if we don't know where she is there's no chance she can be found if we don't know where she is," Jin said.

"good idea now let's get that defense built" Yoshi headed towards the town.

"Who needs to build win you have the original ridiculator" E.Gadd smiled evilly.

**Meanwhile…**

"DK these robots are endless I could really use your help" Waluigi continuously swung at the robots. "My non-existent muscles are getting tired."

"Good then I can swing your body around like a rag doll," DK laughed.

"Seriously" Waluigi whined

"Fine" DK began to float down, but then a giant mechanical foot crushed all the robots.

"Phew that's a relief" Waluigi wiped his forehead. "Now let's get out of here"

"Alright, just kill all the fun" DK lifted Waluigi up and carried him off.

DK and Waluigi flew away while Toadsworth continued to fight Cranky. Though most battle last a few minutes, theirs had been going for hours on end. Cranky's mechanical robot was nearly destroyed and Toadsworth was beginning to shrink, but they both had aces up there sleeves. They looked each straight in the eye and it set the fire ablaze again. Suddenly Toadsworth screamed, "SUPER ULTRA TOAD POWER… LEVEL 2!" At the same time Cranky abandoned his robot and jammed his star into the item shot. Now Cranky was supped up with items and Toadsworth had a golden head and mustache and his cane transformed into the sword.

"THIS IS THE END!" Toadsworth screamed, Cranky responded by waving his hand in a "bring it" motion.

Just as they began to launch there was another unexpected event. The castle flew in, with all its glory (that's not much). Mario and Bowser watched from the inside, noting the destruction caused on an abnormally sunny day.

"Okay this calls for it." Mario stood up from the couch "WHAT THE FUCKING HELL IS GOING ON."

"Nice" Bowser commented.

"Hey, this is the perfect chance to try out the robot fighting system." TG was there too.

"What can't this place do?" Bowser commented once more.

"Make a decent pasta" Mario replied.

"psshaw I know someone here who studied in" TG caught Mario eying him. "I mean, activate the mechanism!"

Toadsworth and Crank Kong watched in disbelief as the castle transformed into optimus prime, then, when lawyers began showing up and the castle changed in to a combination of Mario and Bowser. It stood poised for fighting, but then there was another surprise. Gen. Vier rode in on his invention from earlier

"This is truly a day for the history books." Gen. Vier was also in disbelief of the robot, but his invention from earlier is a robot of it's own. It transformed into Megatron and shot the lawyer when they appeared. So, how's does Gen. Vier new creation work? It's powered by hydrogen, it's guns use chemical that, when mixed with carbon monoxide and other various pollutants, cause a huge explosion leaving only a patch of clean air after the explosion. The robot could also shoot laser beams that cut through anything and kept going until they hit the ozone layer, in which case the laser repairs any damage. Despite it's lack of power in weapons, the robot had a black belt in 13.42 types of martial arts.

"I'll take all you ruffians down" Toadsworth drew his sword. Cranky replied but taking his stance, The castle replied by jumping in the air and floating, and Gen. Vier responded by warming up his weapons.

"A day for the books" Gen. Vier repeated.

**Author's Note: Well it's a battle royal between them all, and what's going to happen when the defenses are ready? Even I want to know, so tune in next time to the adventures of… wait wrong story. Well hope you enjoyed please R&R**


	19. Clash Of the Titans

**Author's Note: and little thanks to Mega Mario for pointing out the cluttered paragraph at the beginning. I hope the double spaced version is a little easier to read.**

** Please R&R**

* * *

Ch 18 Clash Of the Titans

All stood with silent intensity as the four behemoths

faced off. There power together caused a

thunderstorm which made the scene all that more

dramatic. None of them had a chance to realize they

didn't have a reason to fight in Toadsworth threw the

first punch at Crank who caught his arm and swung

Toadsworth around and tried to hit Gen. Vier. The

Castle saw its chance while Gen. Vier dodged and

shot several missiles at him. Gen. Vier countered by

deflecting the missiles at Toadsworth who chopped

the missiles in half with his sword and let them

explode dramatically behind him. Cranky pulled out a

fire flower and transformed it into a flamethrower as

he spewed out flames at all his enemies. Gen. Vier

didn't waste anytime putting out the flames, and

then shot an energy wave at Cranky who reflected it

back. The Castle grabbed Toadsworth and threw

him to intercept the wave. Toadsworth recovered

before hitting the wave and landed next to Gen. Vier

who reflected the wave at the castle. The castle

deflected it back at Toadsworth who deflected back

at Cranky. They didn't know it but they were

enjoying a nice destructive game of ping-pong.

Finally someone just dodged the energy ball and

Toadsworth launched into a sword fight with Cranky.

Their speed increased and their swings became

invisible. To stop them Gen. Vier shot his lasers,

which they dodged with ease and went right back to

fighting. The Castle plowed down onto Gen. Vier

causing a shock wave to spread out destroying

several houses. Gen. Vier recovered with only a dent

in Megatron's armor. Crank saw this as a weak spot

and shot another wave at Gen. Vier who deflected it

at the castle, which deflected it onto another

neighborhood to stop the oncoming ping-pong

match. The castle then launched at Cranky, who

countered with a POW block knocking the castle on

it's back just long enough for Toadsworth to swing it

at Gen. Vier. The castle recovered just in time to

avoid Gen. Vier's lasers. The lasers continued on to

repair a patch of ozone just in time for a meteor

shower. The meteors fell to the ground and

Toadsworth used them as a weapon and flung them

at everyone. Only the castle was strong enough to

prevent being dented, but Cranky and Toadsworth

had dent remover. Not long after the dent remover

was used the castle began playing intense battle

music, which annoyed everyone. Gen. Vier launched

at the castle and tried to jab its speakers but

couldn't concentrate long enough to create some

sense of accuracy because there was a Hummer on

the road just behind Toadsworth. Toadsworth threw

the Hummer, with his sword, at Cranky but before it

got to far Gen. Vier blasted it with a missile. This

gave the castle just enough time to punch Gen. Vier

in the face, really hard. Vier flew a mile back into the

ice parlor. This angered Gen. Vier because he

promised his men ice cream after he destroyed Luigi

and his gang. So, he activated super most and flew

at speeds of over 60 mph (wow super mode sucks)

at the castle, which calmly sidestepped and let Vier

fly into Burger King. Vier became even angry, as

Burger king had been his second option. He flew in

the air and let out a laser show, every one had to do

the soulja boy to avoid being hit. Cranky ended the

show with a thunder rage. Unfortunately, since they

were all giants, the all were hit and fainted.

**Later…**

"Oh my head, I feel like I just walked out of math class." Toadsworth was the last one to wake up. Everyone was back to normal, Mario and Bowser were out of the castle, and the storm had ended. The weird part was, they were all acting like friends. "Good lord what happened here?"

"Finally, you're awake" Gen. Vier said "I never let my men sleep that long."

"Look who's calling the kettle black" Mario retorted, "You only woke up a few seconds ago."

"Well, I'm general I can sleep as long as I want." Gen. Vier crossed his arms.

"What in the name of biscuits is going on?" Toadsworth asked.

Cranky nodded.

"I couldn't have said it better myself." Bowser agreed.

"What?" Toadsworth was confused "he didn't say anything."

"Oh yeah, he doesn't like to talk, but if you pay close attention you understand everything he's saying." Bowser said.

Cranky nodded again.

"Come on you have to be mean" Mario said. "He's just as old as you are if not older" Cranky shook his head at the possibility.

"I still don't know what going on." Toadsworth interrupted.

Mario sighed. "Well, you probably noted during the fight that we all had incredible power of some kind. After we were all woke up we had a discussion about how five guys like us ended fighting each other."

"We just wanted to test the castles fighting system." Bowser said.

"I wanted to be a part of history," Gen. Vier added.

Cranky just tapped his cane on the ground.

Toadsworth still didn't understand Cranky but went on "I was protecting the princess and DK from Cranky."

"Well, you see, none of us had a great reason to fight. I mean, me and Bowser were going to kidnap the princess anyway, and if you understood Cranky, he was only going to send DK to jail." Mario explained. "So we figured why waste our time when we could join together rule the world."

"Yes, I could finally enact environmental laws" Gen. Vier said

"I'd finally win" Bowser added.

"I'm tired of saving Peach's butt" Mario added once more.

Cranky finished by tapping his cane with his fingers.

"What do I get then?" Toadsworth asked

"You don't have to cater to Peach's" Bowser couldn't finish his sentence.

"I'M IN" Toadsworth yelled.

"Great, taking over this world will be as easy pie." Mario grinned menacingly "Now let's go, we have a world to conquer"

**Meanwhile…**

"We got to do something." Luigi paced the ground "Before Mario gets here."

"Like he could find Peach anyway." Jin stopped Luigi. "We just have to stop Mario."

"With what?" Luigi asked, "It's not like we can revert the weirdness" he continued to pace after Jin let go.

"Or could we," E.Gadd just brainstormed. "If we convert the weirdness into awkwardness it will be absorb by the awkward stars, but that's alchemy. It could destroy them planet, in a way."

"What if Gadd's law was used." Jin asked.

"You don't even believe in it." E.Gadd sighed. ", But that wouldn't make it alchemy anymore. The weirdness would finally become."

"Sure I don't believe it, but a the current rate of increased. It's only a matter of time before the law could become real." Jin replied.

"Of Course, why didn't I realize it before?" E.Gadd was inspired to start working

"Good idea, but we don't know exactly how fast it's increasing." Diddy Kong finally said something. "It may be a month before anything could happen."

"Guys I'm back" DK flew threw the roof carrying Waluigi. He completely ignored the fact that Jin, Luigi, Yoshi, and a surprise guess, Diddy, had returned.

"There's the perfect example, less than a month after this started, DK is a ghost. Do I need more proof?" Jin explained.

"Fine." Diddy leaned against a wall.

"But would it reverse the effects." Luigi asked.

"Sadly, It probably won't." E.Gadd said. "Defeating Mario and Bowser is something we have to do on our own, but we have to take the risks of not using the weirdness or the ridiculator."

"Well, I already ridiculated a whole mess of trees." Yoshi said. "I have an army now. We could take them on with it."

Luigi smiled. "This could be easier than I thought"

Luigi was right, it seemed easy, but only DK and Waluigi had seen. They knew this wasn't going to be a cakewalk.


	20. Traitor

Ch 19 traitor

Peach had been running through the forest for quite a while and she began to wonder if it would ever end. It never occurred to her that getting lost could be worse than the risk of getting kidnapped. Those days in princess survival camp never taught her anything except how to look cute and wait for a rescuer. However, she finally stopped running and laid back against a tree to catch her breath. That's when Merlon came out of nowhere.

"Peach, I never thought I'd see you here." Merlon acted surprised.

"Who are you?" Peach tried to look as threatening as possible, while holding her parasol. "And why are you here?"

"I'm the town side-kick err umm, I mean psychic, and I'm here because something has to cause people to hallucinate when I tell there fortune." Merlon bowed. "However, the bigger question is what is a lady of your stature doing here."

"I'm about sick of getting kidnapped, and this time I probably won't be saved."

"Mario is getting old huh?" Merlon asked.

"No he's evil" Peach replied.

"Great board, I mean lord!" Merlon shouted, "What evil has been caught, I mean rot"

"I don't know, but all I know is this time I'm not escaping" Peach said

"That's not what my crystal ball says." Merlon replied

"What crystal ball, we're in a forest." Peach retorted.

"There's one on me key chain and it nails me, sorry I meant tells me, what's going to happen." Merlon began to leave.

"Wait, what's going to back in, I mean happen?" Peach yelled waving a hand in there air. "sigh, he's got me doing it now"

It was too late; Merlon had disappeared behind the trees. Peach shrunk back against a tree and sighed, hoping that Mario might just convince Bowser that they shouldn't do the kidnapping. Sadly, it was only a hope. Meanwhile, E.Gadd and everyone else were discussing battle plans.

"Yeah guys" DK interrupted the discussion

"Oh, DK I almost forgot you where here." E.Gadd said. "You've been quieter than normal"

"Not really, you just didn't hear me" DK replied. "I guess ghosts don't have a very strong presence."

"True, that's why we're all scared of them." Diddy began to peel a banana.

"So what is it?" E.Gadd asked

"Defeating Mario and Bowser isn't going to be easy at all, you could say they have 3 new members. All of them are pretty powerful." DK said "We watched them all battle and then they agreed to a truce."

"Well spit it out, who are they?" Yoshi asked.

"I was getting to that, well, Toadsworth, much to my surprise joined along with Cranky Kong, and some army guy" DK finished.

"General Vier" Luigi mumbled.

"Waluigi you knew about this the whole time and didn't say anything!" E.Gadd yelled

"Well, I'm just waiting for my weird star I don't really care what happens after that." Waluigi sounded bored.

"Now it's ransom, you're not getting it till this is over." E.Gadd retorted holding a pair of keys in his hands"

"Son of a bi-" Waluigi was cut off by Diddy Kong

"That's two armies now" Diddy sighed, "How are we going to defeat them now?"

"Well, we could." Yoshi paused "No, that wouldn't work."

"What?" Luigi asked. "We need all the ideas we can get."

"Well…" Yoshi didn't get a chance to start. 

"MERRY FREACKIN CHRISTMAS" Toadsworth busted in, everyone eyed each other suspiciously "Great eggs and cheese where's the princess."

"Christmas?" Luigi asked, "What are you talking about."

"Heck if I know, just felt like saying something else besides breakfast foods for once" Toadsworth looked around for Peach. "Now where is the princess?"

"We don't know, she's gone out somewhere," E.Gadd answered.

"YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE THE PRINCESS IS" Toadsworth became stressed, he then took a few quick breaths "okay, do you know when she'll be back?" 

"No clue." Luigi

"Very well then, I'll go look for her myself." Toadsworth headed out.

"I doubt that" E.Gadd trapped Toadsworth. "You didn't think we'd let you get away so easily, this whole placed is rigged, no one can get in or out without my say."

"What are you talking about?" Toadsworth grabbed the bars on his cage.

"I know what you did last summer" DK said.

"Huh?" Toadsworth was confused "I don't even remember what I did last summer.

"Oh, well I know you're a traitor." DK pointed a finger at Toadsworth trying to look threatening.

"Are you daft, why would I betray the princess." Toadsworth sounded confident.

"Because you're in a sinister plot to turn mushroom kingdom into a theocracy by teaming up with Mario and Bowser. Once the new political structure was achieved you would've betrayed Mario and Bowser a became a god using the power of the castle leading millions of people into a life of slavery and labor. But that wouldn't be enough for you, soon you would try to reach other universes only to be stopped by the great Chuck Norris and the Switzerland army." Diddy Kong accused Toadsworth of the most ridiculous story.

"or he could've" Luigi was cut off by Toadsworth.

"GASP, HOW DID YOU EVER FIND OUT?" Toadsworth yelled, he then cleared his throat. "well not matter, i shall just crush you now. SUPER TOAD POWERs ACTIVATE." Toadsworth grew huge and broke through the roof and flew up the air threatening to display his power.

"AGAIN, WHAT DO YOU HAVE AGAINST ME?" E.Gadd shouted to the sky again.


	21. Who really caused this

Ch 20 Who really caused this

"Okay this is not good" Yoshi pulled out the ridiculator.

E.Gadd noticed Yoshi aiming, "Don't do that, do you want to give him the power to shoot brussel sprouts out of his eyes."

",and that would be bad how?" Yoshi continued to aim.

"No one likes Brussel sprouts." E.Gadd yelled.

"Excuse me, I know your conversation is the most important thing in the world right now but, I must crush you." Toadsworth flew up to the sky and start to dive onto the destroyed mansion.

"Well, this is a nice way to go, crushed by a toad." Diddy Kong murmured sarcastically.

"Everybody huddle together with me" DK held out his arms.

Toadsworth obliterated the mansion with his enormous body, much to E.Gadd's dismay. However, because of DK's ghost powers everyone was safe.

"Okay, that was close." Luigi watched Toadsworth fly away.

"How could someone so uptight be so powerful?" E.Gadd held back his feeling about his mansion.

"It's your fault" Jin accused E.Gadd.

"All great scientist make mistakes, and how was I supposed to know he'd become evil? He's the last person we all expected even more than Mario."

"Well, he took on Cranky Kong, The Castle, and that environmentalist guy, who was posing as megatron." DK said. "He can't still be all that evil."

"I don't know though, he had a pretty high position of power, he could've planned to topple Peach over at anytime." Diddy Kong said.

"Not likely, cause Mario was always around" E.Gadd replied.

"Umm, guys, are we going to do anything or babble on about Toadsworth" Yoshi interrupted carrying the ridiculator. "We need to return things to normal and our best hope is to make Mario good again."

"Yoshi's right, but how are going to do that. Mario made his own decision to be evil." Luigi questioned.

"we should kidnap him." Diddy Kong suggested.

"That is…" Waluigi finally commented on the conversation. "Completely unoriginal."

"Well, what's your idea?" Diddy Kong retorted

"There's only one way this will end. Despite how much we all avoid it." Waluigi sounded profound for once, but then he tripped over something even though he wasn't moving. "Dang awkwardness, anyway, we have to destroy that castle, then we have to defeat Bowser and Gen. Vier. Finally, we have to capture Mario and with the help of senior genius over there, we can return him to normal." Waluigi finished after falling down once more.

"What about me and Cranky Kong, I'm pretty sure he's going to try and castrate me with a spoon." DK complained.

"That's your problem." Waluigi said "All you have to do is distract him when the day comes. Besides you're a ghost what do you need that for."

"Who says ghosts don't have fun." DK replied with a big smile.

"TOO MUCH INFO!" Diddy Kong yelled

**Meanwhile…**

"Those environmental hazards are finally dead." Gen. Vier rejoiced.

"Yep, crushed them like bugs" Toadsworth celebrated his victory with a glass of milk, but Bowser broke out the champagne.

"I've been saving this for a special occasion." Bowser popped the bottle.

"Sweet, have had any of this stuff since I was in Italy." Mario rubbed his hands together with joy.

"And it's environmentally friendly." Gen. Vier added

"Too, world domination!" Toadsworth held out a toast.

Cranky nodded and smiled.

"Okay that was uncalled for" Bowser commented, sipping some champagne

**Meanwhile…**

"Hmm, mess, I mean yes." Merlon hovered over a crystal ball. "That's very interesting."

"YOU!" Peach busted open the door.

"What the sap do you want" Merlon messed up again.

"you're going stop messing up your words and tell me what's going on! WHY IS EXACTLY IS MARIO EVIL! WHY IS MY CASTLE FLYING AROUND! AND HOW IS IT GOING BE FIXED!" Peach yelled, nearly destroying Merlon's eardrums.

Merlon sighed realizing he could not escape the fury of and angry women, "Well, to fa-f-start" Merlon almost said fart. "You could really blame this whole thing on me."

"How is it possible that this is your fault." Peach calmed down a little bit.

"Despite what it sounds like, E.Gadd is not a creative man, he always asked me to show him what he'll eventually create. The last time he came he came thing were quite boring as if you finally had guards skilled enough to keep you from getting kidnapped. People became adept to there life and stopped worrying if this was the one time Mario would die and evil would win. I obtained financial problems and nearly lost my house. So, I told E.Gadd that he would create the ridiculator, but when I did so I had not foreseen this chaos. Of course by some sick twist of irony Bowser attacked when E.Gadd finished the ridiculator."

"Well, it's not too chaotic" For some reason Peach felt sympathetic.

"Take a look out the window." Merlon murmured.

"DEAR GOD" Peach could not describe what she saw.

"It's my fault" Merlon hung his head.

"Well, why don't you look ahead and see how it all ends?" Peach said

"I've tried, but the ridiculator is so random, I can't predict any future" Merlon replied. "It's always different."

"Irony" Peach murmured. "Well, we could always use some more help."

"Sure, but what could I do?" Merlon asked somewhat hopeful.

"Your psychic, I'm sure there's something you can do" Peach replied.

"Really." Merlon smiled under his hood

"Okay, I'm not angry anymore and you feel useful" Peach headed out the door. "Now let's go."

"Princess wait" Merlon wasn't fast enough, the second Peach walked out the door she was abducted and taken towards the castle. Merlon sighed, "Perhaps I should've told her that this kid slapping, I mean kidnapping, is the one thing I could foresee."

Instantly Merlon new what he had to do, since Mario wasn't around to kick butt, he had to do the butt kicking. He launched out the door and ran after Peach.

**Author's Note: Sorry about the delay in updating, hope you enjoyed that chapter, please R&R**


	22. Merlon the all around pschic

Ch 21 Merlon, the all around psychic

**Queue… mission impossible music…**

Merlon bolted down the road running as fast as he could, his speed was amazing for a psychic. It was long before he saw the castle, it was on the ground and the captures were taking princess Peach inside. Merlon wasn't going to make it in time to catch the castle before it took off into the air. Then it hit him, he could fly, and Merlon lifted off the ground and flew after the castle. It took a little while, but eventually Merlon caught the castle on the back. He clung on like a spider. He used a psychic blast to break the back of the wall and it was his luck that he entered the room with the most enemies. A Koopa lunged at him but Merlon, using telekinesis, tossed the koopa out the hole he made. After watching the koopa's shell break and seeing his boxers, they all back off as Merlon calmly walked out of the door. Yet he was nowhere near the main hall, and the castle had became a maze.

**Meanwhile… fade out mission impossible music…**

"Where are you taking me?" Peach couldn't struggle to get free of her captures. "Why aren't you answering me?"

"The masters wish to see you" TG appeared.

"You mean Mario and Bowser" Peach said angrily

"And Cranky Kong, and General Vier, and Toadsworth" TG added.

"Who da what now?" Peach asked.

"See for yourself" TG opened the door to reveal Mario, Bowser, Cranky, Gen. Vier, and Toadsworth playing monopoly.

Peach sighed. "You're taking over the world and yet you find time to play monopoly."

Cranky tapped his can on the ground as he moved his piece.

"I agree" Toadsworth had finally got the hang of it. "This isn't just monopoly it's ULTIMATE MONOPOLY."

"Did you have to yell?" Mario asked.

"YES!" Toadsworth yelled.

"And this is different the regular monopoly how?" Peach asked.

"Well, we play with real money, and all the places have been replaced with real places like Toad town and Goomba village." Gen. Vier said.

"It's our way of dividing up the kingdom" Bowser landed on a chance space, "Go to jail" He read, "Not again."

"So, if you're playing for land, what's going to happen when someone wins and owns everything?" Peach asked.

Cranky sliced up the board in the blink of an eye.

"Thanks for ruining the game" Mario said.

"It's what I do best" Peach examined her fingernails "So, you mind telling me why I'm here."

"Well, we can't diplomatically take over the kingdom unless someone signs it over." Bowser replied. "That's why I'm always kidnapping you."

"Sorry, but I like the position of princess" Peach retorted.

"Who said you had to turn it over?" Mario sent TG off for a cup of lemonade.

"What?" Peach began to wonder what was really going on.

**Meanwhile…**

Following Waluigi's short-lived speech everyone moved to the Mario bros. house and, E.Gadd set to work on a bomb. Everyone else started watching TV, and plotting a strategy for infiltrating the castle. It was all agreed that DK should plant the bomb because he was a ghost, however Waluigi butted in and insisted that he should carry the bomb because it was his idea to destroy the castle. After the castle was destroyed, Yoshi and Diddy Kong would jump Bowser and Gen. Vier while DK distracted Cranky Kong. E.Gadd would engage Toadsworth again and Luigi would battle his brother. It was all set, without the account of weirdness.

"So let's say something weird does happen, what do we do then?" Yoshi asked

"Pray it works in our favor" Luigi replied.

"How are you going to defeat Mario, you may jump higher but Mario is stronger than you." Diddy had grabbed a banana from the fridge.

"When you lived with someone all your life you know how to get to them. Even so Yoshi has the ridiculator and if need be, I could be ridiculated again." Luigi replied trying to sound as profound as he could.

"Breaking into the castle isn't going to be easy though. Are you sure you're up for it Waluigi." Yoshi asked.

"It was created for this" Waluigi answered "With my legs I just jump over almost anything, with my thin figure no one can see me when I turn sideways. What about you, we may need that army at instant.

"Well, I have that triangular prism Diddy gave me when we first encountered the EMK, I can use it to shoot several trees at once." Yoshi replied.

"So, when to we take off." Yoshi asked.

"NOW!" E.Gadd exclaimed carrying the bomb in his hand.

"That was quick" Waluigi said.

"Making a bomb is easy," E.Gadd proudly held it up, "but this is no ordinary bomb. It will destroy only the castle itself nothing, or no one, on the inside."

"Good, the sooner the better." Yoshi said

"Finally!" Diddy had gotten bored during the conversation, "now let's see some action."


	23. Stand Off

Ch 22 Stand off

Ch 22 Stand off

"This place is crazy." Merlon said to himself in the hallway. He had been in the castle for sometime now. "It feels like every time I go left I'm burning tight. I mean turning right."

The adrenaline had worn off and Merlon was walking at a brisk pace. The hallways also seemed poorly designed. No windows, few doors, and a couple lights. Merlon began to wonder how Mario and Bowser had lived in there so long. However his luck took a sudden change.

"What the crap is this?" Merlon had stumbled upon the control room.

"An intruder, get him!" a koopa yelled. Merlon sighed and used his psychic powers to defeat his enemies.

Walking past the pile of unconscientious koopas and goombas, Merlon stared at the screens in the control. He began to wonder what he could do from there, even though he had no clue what to do. He though the best thing to do would be to destroy the room and just as he began to summon the power destroy the room he caught something out of the corner of his eye. It was none other than E.Gadd and his renegade team. However, while they began to set their plan other things were happening.

"So, as you can see by this chart, the king would have no choice but to turn the kingdom over." Bowser said sound astute.

"Why Bowser I had no clue you knew so much about politics." Toadsworth said.

"I don't understand it, but it won't work." Peach woke up from a nap when Bowser finished explaining "No one has seen my father in years."

Toadsworth sighed, "She's right I'm afraid. In all my years of service I never once saw the king."

"Me neither" Mario included

"Well," Bowser didn't know how to continue but then there was an explosion.

"Well you got to know where he is" Gen. Vier said.

"Nope,"

Cranky tapped his cane and everyone looked at him.

"Well what is it" Mario said.

Cranky pulled a couple of bongos from behind is back, and began telling everyone that when he was young the world didn't need fancy documents, and such, to be taken over. All you needed was an iron fist.

"You're right, to war it is then." Mario agreed with Cranky.

Before anyone could make a move, the whole castle began shaking violently. Cranky, sensing the danger, busted out the window, upon landing he unsheathed his sword and looked around. DK suddenly appeared in front of him.

"Well old man, I know you've been waiting to get me back" DK floated in the air

Cranky resisted the urge to talk; instead he just tapped his cane on the ground, and took his fighter's stance

"I see your point." DK said, "Fine, it's on like Donkey Kong.

DK and Cranky charged at each other. Cranky was confident he was going to slash DK in half. Much to Cranky's surprise DK phase right through him and began running away. Cranky waved his cane angrily in the air and, using the power of his awkward star, summoned another pink tricycle to chase after DK. At the time Cranky didn't know the castle was about to fall apart from the bomb Waluigi planted

"What the crap is going on" Mario was struggling to regain balance.

"Heck if I know" Bowser said. "But we can't let peach escape."

"Too late," Gen. Vier pointed at Peach, carrying a parasol, jumping out the window cranky busted through.

"No you don't" Bowser busted through the wall and summoned his flying machine with the evil smiley face on it. Merlon, in the control room, had been watching the whole thing and PK blasted his way out of the castle to help Peach.

"TG!" Mario yelled. "What do you do know."

"Me!" TG replied, "This isn't my fault."

"Of course it is, I saw you putting and extra pinch of salt in the pasta. When you mess with pasta you mess with the world." Mario sounded evil.

"That was another toad," TG said, "and on another note we need to get out of here

Mario, TG, Toadsworth and Gen Vier began running out of the castle. Even though the castle was huge, adrenaline was pumping and they were all moving very fast. Suddenly Mario began feeling very weird, TG, Gen. Vier, and Luigi disappeared and there were portraits of Luigi all over the wall. Mario finally made it to what he thought was the exit. He opened the door to see a room similar to the ones where he battled Bowser; unfortunately it was Luigi standing in the middle.

"Surprised to see me Bro" Luigi was carrying the vacuum E.Gadd gave him.

"Luigi" Mario was confused " but I though I was leaving the castle and you were dead"

"It's amazing what you can do with one of these" Luigi patted the vacuum hose.

"What do you want?" Mario asked

"I want you to be a good guy." Luigi said

"Pssh yeah right" Mario pulled out F.L.U.D.D.

"Alright then" Luigi turned on the vacuum "It's on like Donkey Kong."

"That Jokes has already been made." Mario replied.

While Mario and Luigi began powering up their weapons, TG and Gen. Vier were just making it out the castle.

"Where's Mario" Gen. Vier was trying to catch his breathe.

"I don't know he disappeared a while back" TG turned around "This sucks everything is falling apart."

Gen Vier didn't reply because, in the far corner of his eye, he saw something he considered pure evil. It was Yoshi burning a tree to ashes for no reason. "YOU!" Gen. Vier yelled. "How dare you hurt nature!". Gen Vier slammed his weird star into the ground and a tank appeared, the most dangerous, most experimental, and most eco-friendly tank ever thought of by Gen Vier

"It's on like Donkey Kong" Yoshi ran into the forest.

"Get an original joke." Gen Vier put the tank into high gear and set off after Yoshi

"This is bad" Toadsworth mumbled. "I guess I'm next to go."

At that second E. Gadd flew out of the forest. "Ready for a re-match old timer"

"Whatever you say, old man" Toadsworth activated his super powers.

Toadsworth and E.Gadd flew off leaving TG alone. However, TG wasn't alone for long, eventually Diddy Kong wondered in.

"All man," Diddy kicked the ground "Yoshi left without me" He saw TG out of the corner of his ear.

"Diddy, what are you doing here" TG said.

"Me, what the crap how do you know my name and why are you here?" Diddy asked.

"That's my problem" TG said.

"I don't have time for this, I have to help Yoshi" Diddy pulled out his jet pack.

"Wait!" TG yelled "Don't you want to know who I am?"

"No, not really" Diddy flew off.

"Great, now no one will help me" TG kicked the ground.

**Author's Note: sorry about the super long delay, i hope you enjoyed the chapter though. Please R&R**


	24. The final Battle

Ch 23 the final battle

Ch 23 the final battle

DK kept running until he reached toad town. He stopped and waited for Cranky who was only seconds behind. Cranky wasted no time beginning the battle because the second he jumped off the tricycle, he threw it at DK. DK wasn't surprised and caught the tricycle and threw it back. Cranky sliced the tricycle in half and ran straight at DK who took a stance. Cranky Kong slashed in several directions and DK dodged each slashed. Cranky realized he wasn't going to hit DK with a sword so he sheathed it and attached the cane to back and attacked in fisted combat. Cranky threw at right jab, which DK blocked and countered with a backhand. Cranky blocked the counter with surprising strength and he and DK stayed deadlocked for a few seconds. Eventually they broke free and jumped back.

Cranky began breathing heavily; DK seemed stronger than he remembered, yet weaker in a way. Cranky then realized that DK had become a ghost. Cranky knew in all his years there was only to defeat a ghost, but before he could remember it DK had already begun to attack. DK charged at Cranky and attempted to do a headbut but Cranky held him back with his cane. DK back up and him and Cranky launched into a series of uppercuts, jabs, and hooks to fast for anyone to see. It was apparent to Cranky that being a ghost made DK a lot faster than he used to be. Back in the day DK couldn't keep up with Cranky. Eventually Cranky began to slow down, evading police and such was easy but something about DK was intimidating. Cranky in the mist of the fight lost his balance fell. DK went to deliver the finally punch but couldn't do it.

"Look, I'm sorry for sending you to jail" DK stuttered, "It was an accident."

Cranky wasn't ready to forgive DK, his virginity was precious to him, and DK had threatened that and much more. Then again Cranky thought that if DK hadn't sent him to jail he never would've felt young again. Cranky stood up and held a truce, for the time being.

"Phew," DK said. "Glad that's over"

Cranky nodded in agreement

**Meanwhile…**

"WHY DID YOU GO EVIL!" Luigi yelled at Mario.

"DO KNOW WHAT'S LIKE TO SAVE PEACH TIME AFTER TIME I THINK IT'S SOMONE ELSES TIME" Mario yelled back.

"Too bad it's falling apart." Luigi replied.

"Doesn't means it can't be salvaged" Mario said. "I just got to get rid of you first." 

"Fine then, I'll turn you good again, not matter what I have to do"

Mario began spraying gallons of water at Luigi, who sucked every last drop up with his vacuum. Luigi began to wonder the lethality of water, but it didn't last long because he saw Mario attempting to jump on his head. Luigi sprayed the water back at Mario. All the water hit Mario who did not get hurt or damaged in anyway. At that moment it was apparent that the battle wasn't going to be finished with a pump and vacuum cleaner. Mario rushed at Luigi, Luigi dodged and karate chopped Mario. Mario flew back and recovered across the room but recovered before hitting the ground. Mario began throwing several fireballs at Luigi who dodged everyone he could to did get hit by a few. Suddenly though, Luigi got an idea.

"We don't have to do this!" Luigi yelled.

"Yeah, you got a better idea?" Mario asked

"How about a deal?" Luigi replied

"I'm listening" Mario said

"You're doing this because you're tired of saving Peach right" Luigi explained

"That's most of it" Mario mumbled.

"Well, how about next time me and a group of skilled toads go after her while you do whatever you want." Luigi continued.

"You think you can handle it?" Mario sounded cocky.

"We share the same genes don't we?" Luigi said.

Mario paused for a moment. "Fine, now let's get out of here before this whole place falls down."

**Outside of the castle…**

Peach hadn't been floating along for too long, but luckily the wind was strong and Peach managed to keep ahead of Bowser.

"Get back here!" Bowser yelled.

"No!" Peach yelled back.

"Well, that wind won't keep up forever." Bowser said.

"That machine has to run out of gas sometime" Peach replied.

Bowser glanced down at his gas gauge and noticed it nearly empty; if he didn't land soon he would crash and burn. "You win this round, until next time" Bowser backed off.

"Glad that's over," Peach sighed.

"Too anti-climatic for my taste." Merlon appeared next to Peach. "Anyway I can help?"

"Well, you could get me down from here" Peach said.

While Merlon escorted Peach to a safe place the last battle was taking place. The environmentalist, Gen Vier, had enough of Yoshi and his destructive his ways. Gen. Vier was determined for this to be his end.

"I WILL DESTROY YOU!" Gen Vier yelled of the roar of his tank.

"You and what army?" Yoshi replied.

"THIS ARMY!" Gen. Vier fired several missiles at Yoshi.

"Me and my big mouth." Yoshi mumbled.

Yoshi jumped between several trees to avoid the missiles, but they just seemed to keep coming and coming. Gen. Vier kept shouting on about how he would destroy Yoshi, and it was getting very distracting. Yoshi finally decided to pull out the ridiculator; he aimed at a tree but fumbled and accidentally shot himself becoming a lawyer once again.

"OBJECTION!" Yoshi pointed straight at Gen. Vier's tank, which exploded. Gen. Vier was confounded by this act.

"How did you that?" Gen. Vier asked.

"It's the power of the lawyer." Yoshi replied.

"Very well then" Gen. Vier stood up, "a tank may not be able to destroy be a weird star could destroy anything." He summoned the weird star.

Before Yoshi could do anything Gen. Vier transformed into an environmentally safe hazard, Yoshi could feel the power emanating from him. Gen. Vier shot a blast at Yoshi, who was too stunned to do anything. At the last second Diddy Kong flew in and saved Yoshi.

"Thank you" Yoshi said as Diddy Kong put him down.

"Anytime." Diddy replied. "Feel free to return the favor."

"Move!" Yoshi pushed Diddy out of the way of another blast.

"Favor returned" Diddy was trying to catch his breath "What is this guy?"

"I have no clue. There's nothing in the law books about this" Yoshi said "OBJECTION" he fired a blast, which was barely effective.

"Environmentalist defy the law," Gen. Vier said.

Yoshi and Diddy continued to run around the forest firing random attack, any of which barely made a scratch. Gen. Vier seemed unstoppable; Yoshi and Diddy would've been dead a long time ago if his attacks destroyed trees. Minutes later Diddy and Yoshi were running out of attacks, and Yoshi was just about out of time for being ridiculated.

"There got to be something we can do." Diddy looked around for something to help him and he saw a figure in the distance.

"When did he get this powerful." Yoshi dodged another blast.

"What if we ridiculated him?" Diddy asked.

"And make him more powerful, now way." Yoshi began to revert back to normal.

"Waluigi!" Diddy yelled.

"What?" Yoshi

"Look it's Waluigi" Diddy pointed at the figure he saw a second ago.

Waluigi rushed towards Gen. Vier holding the weird star in his hand like a sword. Waluigi seemed as majestic and profound as obesity in America.

"Power of the awkward star, I SUMMON YOU!" Waluigi yelled

Waluigi slammed into Gen. Vier and a light shined so bright that Yoshi and Diddy couldn't look at it. There was an explosion that sent Diddy flying into a tree.

"What the crap is this" Yoshi struggled to avoid the same fate as Diddy.

The explosion cleared and Waluigi was left standing just as majestic as when he jumped into the air.

"What happened?" Yoshi asked

"I put all the awkwardness stored in the awkward star into Gen. Vier. Waluigi said "he probably can't even crawl straight now"

"How come you never did this before?" Diddy Kong asked.

"Because I'm too lazy," Waluigi replied.

While Waluigi, Diddy, and Yoshi made there way back to town to meet up with everyone else, E.Gadd's third and final battle with Toadsworth was coming to an end.

"Well old bag I believe we've maxed out" Toadsworth said, "I've seen all your power and you've seen mine."

"That's why this battle was a repeat," E.Gadd was breathing heavily.

Toadsworth paused for a moment as if caught by something. "So I publicly announce that you win and I denounce my powers."

"What?" E.Gadd was dumbfounded.

Toadsworth shrank and went unconscious on the ground E.Gadd floated down.

"That was weird" E.Gadd scratched his head.

"I love that part about being a ghost." Jin's voice was coming out of Toadsworth worth.

"Jin, is that you, did you do that?" E.Gadd asked.

"Yep." Jin appeared. "I can't wait to see his face when he finds out he doesn't have powers anymore."

"Yea, well there's plenty of time for that later. Let's go meet up with everyone" E.Gadd began walking towards.

"So, that's it" Jin said. "It's over,"

"I hope so," E.Gadd said.


	25. Epilogue

Ch 24 epilogue

Ch 24 epilogue

A few days after the final battle life was getting back to normal. E.Gadd's mansion was nearly finished, and Peach's castle was being reconstructed. Cranky went to rocking back and forth in his chair again after forgiving DK. Mario and Luigi had went back to living together as if the whole thing never happened. Peach stayed with E.Gadd at a fancy hotel. Bowser had begun plotting his next attack on Peach, and Gen. Vier was in a rehabilitation program to learn how to properly crawl again. So to finish it off E.Gadd called everyone together everyone together outside of his mansion.

"So is that everyone?" E.Gadd asked.

"No, DK, Diddy, and Cranky aren't here" Toadsworth said "but I'm pretty sure Gen. Vier isn't going to show up."

"Hey guys, sorry we're late." DK and his friends appeared. "Cranky insisted on a lecture about using E.Gadd's inventions."

Cranky Kong tapped his cane on the ground.

"Yes, yes now calm down" Toadsworth said "Now, E.Gadd, why have you called us here."

"Simple really, since we were all involved in this little adventure, I decided it's best for all of us to see it off." E.Gadd moved closer to a curtain he had placed there. "Behold the original ridiculator."

Everyone gasped.

"Don't fret, being a scientist I figured that the ridiculator should not be destroyed, but passed on to another world." E.Gadd explained. "Where it is not our problem."

"But what if the people on that world can't save it from the ridiculator?" Peach asked

"Ahaha, I see your point and have already solved it. The ridiculator will be sealed away wherever it is and can only be activated by its discovery."

"Sounds good to me" Mario was eager to get back home. "Now let's do this"

The ridiculator began to spin wildly and ascend to the sky. Everyone watched until the couldn't see any more"

"PRINCESS!" Toadsworth yelled watching Bowser run away with Peach. "Mario! You must save her"

"I believe it's his turn" Mario pointed at Luigi.

Luigi sighed, "Fine I'll take care of it." He ran off after Bowser.

Mario Yawned, "it's time to relax."

"Hey, Cranky have you seen my stash of bananas, they seem to be missing." DK asked.

Cranky tapped the ground with his cane, and ran away.

"Hey stop thief!" DK went after Cranky.

"Not so fast" TG appeared in front of Cranky.

"Hey it's TG." Mario said.

"I'm not TG, I haven't been TG since the beginning of the story." TG said.

"So who are you?" Toadsworth asked

TG twirled around to take off the disguise. "IT'S ME!"

"DIXIE KONG" Cranky was astounded, but finished off by tapping his cane on the ground.

"Why?" Dixie Kong began to explain. "When you escaped from jail you kicked me off my tricycle and now I want revenge."

Cranky froze for a few seconds and took off into the forest; DK and Dixie Kong weren't far behind.

"And life goes back to normal" Diddy said walking off.

* * *

**Hyrule Kingdom…**

Link had just finished solving a puzzle and a door opened. Nonetheless it was the master swords throne, but there was no master sword, just the ridiculator.

**Author's Note: Well, that's it i hope you enjoyed the story**


End file.
